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Ayl Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Have I correctly used tenses of the verbs in these sentences? What can you say about my choice of words?
Have I correctly used tenses of the verbs in these sentences? What can you say about my choice of words? Please help me edit my sentences. Thank you.
Some of my classmates seem to be relaxed every day during class hours. Instead of copying lectures and listening to the lessons, some of them chat with their seatmates or secretly use their phones to text, take selfies, or even use social medias. After class, some go elsewhere roaming around, jamming together, and doing many other things. Some even spend most of their whole vacant time in front of their computers or laptop screens, browsing the Internet, especially social networking sites, or playing computer and online games.
Some of my classmates seem to be relaxed every day during class hours. Instead of copying lectures and listening to the lessons, some of them chat with their seatmates or secretly use their phones to text, take selfies, or even use social medias. After class, some go elsewhere roaming around, jamming together, and doing many other things. Some even spend most of their whole vacant time in front of their computers or laptop screens, browsing the Internet, especially social networking sites, or playing computer and online games.
Top answer
It looks like you put a lot of hard work into this paragraph. I do not notice any glaring errors. All I can come up with are stylistic considerations: -You repeat "some" a lot, which gets tedious.
- It looks like you put a lot of hard work into this paragraph.
- I do not notice any glaring errors.
- All I can come up with are stylistic considerations: -You repeat "some" a lot, which gets tedious.
- Consider using "they" instead to mix it up.
- -"...
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1 Answers
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It looks like you put a lot of hard work into this paragraph. I do not notice any glaring errors. All I can come up with are stylistic considerations:
-You repeat "some" a lot, which gets tedious. Consider using "they" instead to mix it up.
-"... and doing many other things." This is very, very broad. I would find a way of categorizing their additional activities in a specific wa
-You repeat "some" a lot, which gets tedious. Consider using "they" instead to mix it up.
-"... and doing many other things." This is very, very broad. I would find a way of categorizing their additional activities in a specific wa
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