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Rommel Posted 10 years ago
Grammar

Have I correctly used ‘feeling the warmth of it,’ ‘rubbed the back of her hand,’ and ‘placed a kiss on it’ in these sentences?

Have I correctly used ‘feeling the warmth of it,’ ‘rubbed the back of her hand,’ and ‘placed a kiss on it’ in these sentences?

As the car moved slowly, Troy held Janice’s hand, feeling the warmth of it. He gently rubbed the back of her hand and then placed a kiss on it as he closed his eyes.
  

Top answer

It's OK, but "then" is redundant.

— Teechr

  • It's OK, but "then" is redundant.
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5 Answers
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It's OK, but "then" is redundant.
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Would it also be acceptable if I made the following revision?

As the car moved slowly, Troy held Janice’s hand, felt its warmth, gently rubbed its back, and placed a kiss on it as he closed his eyes.
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RommelWould it also be acceptable if I made the following revision?As the car moved slowly, Troy held Janice’s hand, felt its warmth, gently rubbed its back, and placed a kiss on it as he closed his eyes.
No. That makes it sound like a series of sequential actions. I prefer the original.
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Would it be all right if I replaced 'feeling the warmth of it' with 'feeling its warmth,' which is more concise?

...Troy held Janice’s hand, feeling its warmth.
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