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Creativeguru Posted 14 years ago

Haiku poem on nature

Please give me your comment / suggestion

Life here is slow
It is the nature’s glow
Quite an amazing sight.

Thanks
  

Top answer

Poetry is far less demanding of structure/correctness. It sounds pretty much fine to me. ) However, your lines are 4 / 6 / 6 syllables.

  • Poetry is far less demanding of structure/correctness.
  • It sounds pretty much fine to me.
  • ) However, your lines are 4 / 6 / 6 syllables.
  • If you're aiming for a traditional haiku, you need 5 / 7 / 5 syllables.
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4 Answers
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Poetry is far less demanding of structure/correctness. It sounds pretty much fine to me. (The meaning of "it" could be clarified.)

However, your lines are 4 / 6 / 6 syllables. If you're aiming for a traditional haiku, you need 5 / 7 / 5 syllables.
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can I have it in the following way

Life here is slow
It is the mesmerizing nature’s glow
Quite an amazing sight.

I am trying to make it close to 5 / 7 / 5 syllables

Thanks
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Line 1, you could add a one-syllable description of "slow". "Life here is _ slow."

For line 2, you could reword it simply as: "It is the glow of nature".

Line 3, maybe replace "amazing" with a two-syllable synonym like "Quite a lovely sight." Or, replace the whole line with "A beautiful sight."

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