Haiku and Me!

Question

1)Dark and dreary dreamsSolitude killing everydayLove me once more now.2)Love passion and tearsNothing lasts for long for you.Life is all there is.3)Bud into a flowerBlossoming age with colors brightSeed sown forever in.

Anita_a · Accepted Answer

I would appreciate if any body told me if all these qualify as Haiku.. I want to improve writing Haikus.

Roro · Answer

Hello anita!
This is my first post in this 'Poetry' section, so I don't know what to comment!

English is a native language for you? I guess so (sorry I know nothing about you yet).

I'm Japanese. Haiku is one of our form of poetry. Thank you for mentioning it, anita. If you're interested, I'll check if there's some good sites, try to quote some examples.

There's one rule in making Haiku: it should include a 'code phrase' that denotes the season. Don't worry, there're plenty of code-phrases! In your Haiku ... bud, blossom (..maybe solitude, too) are considered as code-phrases, I think.

See you,

Roro · Answer

Hello anita again,

Please let me try to translate my favorite one, although it's still tentative:
????????????????????????????????????????
(self-deprecation)
My back figure
Will vanish into
The rain in the wind.
????????????????????????????????????????
The old home
in the rain ...
I walk barefooted.
????????????????????????????????????????
These are of 'Santoka.' The latter one is not my translation.
See you, anita.

Anita_a · Answer

Thanks Roro. That was very nice of you to explain and give examples. I have a doubt. We have been reading that Haiku has the pattern of 5-7-5 syllables in 3 lines respectively.But your translations don't have. Do the original haikus in Japanese have this pattern? It was interesting to note that there are code-phrases in Haiku. Let me know more about these code-phrases.

By the way, I'm not a native english speaker. It is not my first language if that is what you wanted to know. But I teach English in a college in the US.

Roro · Answer

Hello anita. I see, you teach English! Great.
Please let me comment on your Haiku a bit: I like these combinations of lines..images..a lot. Combination is important, I guess (although I don't write poems).

But since you should include your feeling into a quite short form, Haiku-writers would advise you to sing about quite trifle matters, not general images. I hope you wouldn't mind my commenting.
?????????????????????????????????????????????
?From Website 'Haiku for People'?
? In foreign languages, there exist NO consensus in how to write Haiku-poems. Anyway, let's take a look at the basic knowledge:
? Some of the most thrilling Haiku-poems describe daily situations in a way that gives the reader a brand new experience of a well-known situation.
? Haiku-poems consist of respectively 5, 7 and 5 syllables in three units. In Japanese, this convention is a must, but in english, which has variation in the length of syllables, this can sometimes be difficult.?So you can ignore this rule, anita.?
[The seasonal theme]
? Each Haiku must contain a kigo, a season word, which indicate in which season the Haiku is set. For example, cherry blossoms indicate spring, snow indicate winter, and mosquitoes indicate summer, but the season word isn't always that obvious.
?????????????????????????????????????????????

Let me quote some Haikus of Issa (with Roman transcripts of Japanese original, to show syllables' construction):

?????????????????????????????????????????????
A sight to see!
From a hole in the wall
Autumn moon.
?nadokoro ya / kabe no ana yori / aki no tsuki?
?????????????????????????????????????????????
If only she were here
For me to nag...
Tonight's moon!
?kogoto iu / aite mo araba / kyô no tsuki?
?????????????????????????????????????????????
Looks like he's writing
A "Star Poem"...
The frog.
?hoshi no uta / yomu tsura tsuki no / kawazu kana?
?????????????????????????????????????????????
You know, they sing about nothing but trifle feeling in daily life.
And don't worry too much about 'code phrases,' now I think what I wrote above was misleading. Sorry, anita.
I'm looking forward another your Haikus/poems.

PS. Please feel free in correcting my grammatical mistakes in English!

Roro · Answer

Hi again,
Strictly speaking, haiku without season words are called not 'haiku' but 'senryu.' It's not important at all, I just wanted to mention my favorite one:
?????????????????????????????????????????????
Though looks bored
My cat knows well
Where to hang around.
?????????????????????????????????????????????

Davkett · Answer

Hi Roro,

I love haiku , too. And this is a good one, particularly for cat owners, who ought to recognize the depth of thought here.

But shouldn't the first line be, 'Though looking bored'?

Whose haiku is this? Issa?

Roro · Answer

Hi Davkett!
Thank you Very Much for correcting my translation. I don't remember the poet's name, sorry! The original is:
?Taikutsuno / nekoni deteyuku / tokoga ari?
????????????????????????????????????????
(Another one on cats, from Issa)
From his hole
The snake pokes his head...
The cat slaps it.
????????????????????????????????????????
?ana wo deru / hebi no atama ya / neko ga haru?

Haiku and Me!

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