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Usenet Posted 21 years ago
Screenwriting
Gut-wrenching, stomach-churning, gag reflex-inducing dialogue
Heard while watching "Volcano" (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0120461):
Teenage girl is in charge of doling out meaningless platitudes to comfort other children in hospital ward while her father tries to prevent Los Angeles from being swallowed up by lava. She's playing "rock, paper, scissors". She gets scissors, Patently Cutesy Kid #1 gets paper.
Teenage girl: Scissors beat paper.
Patently Cutesy Kid #1: I'm not paper; I'm lava... what beats lava? Teenage girl: My dad... I hope!
Later, everyone is covered by dust from having imploded a building to divert the lava flow. Token Black Policeman #1 holds white Patently Cutesy Kid #1 and asks him where his mother is.
Token Black Policeman #1: What does your mother look like. Patently Cutesy Kid #1: She looks like...
(Patently Cutesy Kid #1 looks at all the white and black people with their faces covered by dust).
Patently Cutesy Kid #1: ...like everyone. Look at their faces, they're all the same.
And thus, the movie delivers a priceless saccharine lesson about race relations.
For this heinous crime against humanity, I sentence Jerome Armstrong (the scren "writer") to one hundred lashes across his hands on the public place so that, during recovery, he may think good and hard about the evil he's committed.
Anyone else got lines they'd like to submit?
jaybee
Teenage girl is in charge of doling out meaningless platitudes to comfort other children in hospital ward while her father tries to prevent Los Angeles from being swallowed up by lava. She's playing "rock, paper, scissors". She gets scissors, Patently Cutesy Kid #1 gets paper.
Teenage girl: Scissors beat paper.
Patently Cutesy Kid #1: I'm not paper; I'm lava... what beats lava? Teenage girl: My dad... I hope!
Later, everyone is covered by dust from having imploded a building to divert the lava flow. Token Black Policeman #1 holds white Patently Cutesy Kid #1 and asks him where his mother is.
Token Black Policeman #1: What does your mother look like. Patently Cutesy Kid #1: She looks like...
(Patently Cutesy Kid #1 looks at all the white and black people with their faces covered by dust).
Patently Cutesy Kid #1: ...like everyone. Look at their faces, they're all the same.
And thus, the movie delivers a priceless saccharine lesson about race relations.
For this heinous crime against humanity, I sentence Jerome Armstrong (the scren "writer") to one hundred lashes across his hands on the public place so that, during recovery, he may think good and hard about the evil he's committed.
Anyone else got lines they'd like to submit?
jaybee
Top answer
com/title/tt0120461 ):[/nq] Painful, painful film... But the best part the only good part about it was that we got to watch our condo get eaten up by molten lava. Our old place was directly across the street from the La Brea Tar Pits (where the Volcano pops up to say howdy) and they built a replica of it on the backlot, then proceeded to destroy the whole street.
- com/title/tt0120461 ):[/nq] Painful, painful film...
- But the best part the only good part about it was that we got to watch our condo get eaten up by molten lava.
- Our old place was directly across the street from the La Brea Tar Pits (where the Volcano pops up to say howdy) and they built a replica of it on the backlot, then proceeded to destroy the whole street.
- Whee!
- So it was quite amusing to watch our building burst into flames as the lava ever-so-slowly made its way down Wilshire.
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4 Answers
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[nq:1]Heard while watching "Volcano" (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0120461):[/nq]
Painful, painful film...
But the best part the only good part about it was that we got to watch our condo get eaten up by molten lava. Our old place was directly across the street from the La Bre
Painful, painful film...
But the best part the only good part about it was that we got to watch our condo get eaten up by molten lava. Our old place was directly across the street from the La Bre
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Volcano I saw with a couple of managed care administrators. When the cool guy said "I want all these patients moved to Cedars Sinai right now" or whatever, they were like "Yeah, right." In real life, that would've taken weeks and an Act of Congress. Everyone has their own exit points from a story.
Dante's Peak was way better, for two reasons. First, it knew it was stupid. Second, since it wasn
Dante's Peak was way better, for two reasons. First, it knew it was stupid. Second, since it wasn
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[nq:1]Anyone else got lines they'd like to submit?[/nq]
"The Patriot", with Mel Gibson.
Mel to his love interest:
"Mind if I sit down?"
Love interest: (spoken in a lifeless monotone)
"It's a free country or at least it will be."
If you had stopped the movie, dropped a chalkboard down and had people drag their finger nails across it that couldn't have been more jarring than
"The Patriot", with Mel Gibson.
Mel to his love interest:
"Mind if I sit down?"
Love interest: (spoken in a lifeless monotone)
"It's a free country or at least it will be."
If you had stopped the movie, dropped a chalkboard down and had people drag their finger nails across it that couldn't have been more jarring than
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[nq:2]Heard while watching "Volcano" (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0120461):[/nq]
[nq:1]Painful, painful film... But the best part the only good part about it was that we got to watch our condo get eaten up by molten lava.[/nq]
That is so cool.
Well, hot, actually.
[nq:1]Painful, painful film... But the best part the only good part about it was that we got to watch our condo get eaten up by molten lava.[/nq]
That is so cool.
Well, hot, actually.
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