GRE Issue Writing Trial

Hello. This is actually my first GRE Issue Writing Essay. I would like to see some comments about it. And I would appreciate if you make some remarks about my English.

Thank you in advance! I appreciate any help!

Issue:

Some people argue that confidence and optimism are critical to achieving a dream, while others believe that selfless hard work is the only way to reach a goal.

Write a response in which you determine which view bears the closest resemblance to your own. In justifying your reasoning and supporting your position, be sure to include your reaction to both of the views presented.

Response:

If people strive to achieve a dream they should make sure to put as much effort as possible into it, be patient and catch the right moment. Confidence and optimism might play not the last role, but hard and diligent work is primary to catch a dream for most of people. It can be argued that some people have gained their success or something they had been dreaming about for years, only because they were fortunate to appear in the right time in the right place. They were confident in their actions, optimistic and sure about their future and had never vacillated in making decisions. But this happens not so often, so that it is more likely to be an exclusion rather than a path to success. However, being a hard worker does not guarantee that you will reach your goal. Actually, nothing does, but combination of both approaches increases your chances to catch your goal.

When people dream about something and set a particular goal to achieve it is always (or almost always) a remote goal which is not easily achievable. For example, some person may dream to become a movie or rock star, other may be dreaming about becoming a successful and influential theoretical physicist; but it is quite obvious that those goals require a lot of effort to be achieved. On the one hand, one can argue that plenty amount of present pop artists, rock stars or nominee for Oscar have gained their success almost occasionally and they were frivolous in the beginning of their career, not expecting these outstanding results. On the other hand, there is absolutely no case where a brilliant scientist has become involved into his research area on an occasion. If we scan papers of various famous scientists who made significant contribution, we can find that their path to triumph was very long, intricate and, probably, unclear. But by taking small careful steps, yet sometimes very audacious, they have reached the top.

But, no matter how sad it may be, selfless hard work may turn out to be insufficient to bring a particular dream into reality. The way to your goal is never a smooth one, it is often interrupted by unpleasant circumstances that you did not expect. The secret of dream's realization lies in combining patience and assiduity with confidence and optimism. By doing so, you are able to retain calm and diligent while encountering various obstacles and continue hardworking. Eventually, this may lead you to what you have dreamt about.