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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Graph description
Hello. I've made a graph description. Because we don't have that much information about the subject yet, I hope that someone can help me to delete the mistakes in the text. If you have some ideas or things I can add, it's also welcome.
Thank you!
"This chart shows the number of AIDS victims per year. On this graph, you see 2 lines, this line indicates men, this line indicates women.
You see clearly that there are more manly victims of aids than womanly victims. That’s why I’ll discuss these line.
The graph begins in 1983, in that year there were no victims. But in 1986 there were already 55 victims. In 1987, that number already increased to 100 victims. The graph kept rising. In 1990, the number of victims jumped to 250. In 1991, it increased by 25. Then in 1992, you’ll see the graph jumped to 375 victims. This increase came as more and more young people had sexual relations early. The age at which most people get aids, is in fact between 15 and 25 years old.
At 400, it stabilized for the next 3 years. Then you’ll see a decrease in 1996. The number of victims is there 300. In 1997 it plunged by 150. The next year, it dipped to 100 victims. This decrease is due to a medicine they got to prevent aids. The virus can not be cured, but it can be delayed. And it seems to work, as you see on the graph, in 2003 there were only 55 victims.
Also at the women’s graph, you’ll see that that between 1992 and 1996, there were the most aids victims. "
Thank you!
"This chart shows the number of AIDS victims per year. On this graph, you see 2 lines, this line indicates men, this line indicates women.
You see clearly that there are more manly victims of aids than womanly victims. That’s why I’ll discuss these line.
The graph begins in 1983, in that year there were no victims. But in 1986 there were already 55 victims. In 1987, that number already increased to 100 victims. The graph kept rising. In 1990, the number of victims jumped to 250. In 1991, it increased by 25. Then in 1992, you’ll see the graph jumped to 375 victims. This increase came as more and more young people had sexual relations early. The age at which most people get aids, is in fact between 15 and 25 years old.
At 400, it stabilized for the next 3 years. Then you’ll see a decrease in 1996. The number of victims is there 300. In 1997 it plunged by 150. The next year, it dipped to 100 victims. This decrease is due to a medicine they got to prevent aids. The virus can not be cured, but it can be delayed. And it seems to work, as you see on the graph, in 2003 there were only 55 victims.
Also at the women’s graph, you’ll see that that between 1992 and 1996, there were the most aids victims. "
Top answer
I presume this is a colored graph with the lines indicating cases among males and cases among females being different colors. " The second sentence should read that there are more male victims of aids than female victims. Lines should be plural in the 3rd sentence.
- I presume this is a colored graph with the lines indicating cases among males and cases among females being different colors.
- " The second sentence should read that there are more male victims of aids than female victims.
- Lines should be plural in the 3rd sentence.
- I'll let someone else finish due to my time constraints.
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2 Answers
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I presume this is a colored graph with the lines indicating cases among males and cases among females being different colors. Therefore, I would say, "with the blue line representing cases among males and the red line indicating cases among females."
The second sentence should read that there are more male victims of aids than female victims. Lines should be plural in the 3rd sentence.
The second sentence should read that there are more male victims of aids than female victims. Lines should be plural in the 3rd sentence.
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I have underlined some problem areas and stricken out excess verbiage:
This chart shows the number of AIDS victims per year. On this graph, you see 2 lines, this line indicates men, this line indicates women.(In addition to the punctuation problems, you cannot describe a graph with just words like 'this' and 'this'; you will have to explain more clearly
This chart shows the number of AIDS victims per year. On this graph, you see 2 lines, this line indicates men, this line indicates women.(In addition to the punctuation problems, you cannot describe a graph with just words like 'this' and 'this'; you will have to explain more clearly
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