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Erasmus Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing
Graph describing
( It is about describing a graph)
I will really apperciate your help.
The below text;
The given graph in assignment 2 reflects the sick leave trend in a multi-national company based in the Netherlands over a twelve-month period from January to December 2009.
At the start of the year 2009 numbers were quite high at 55, this was because there were a large number of workers who had a busy time during the charismas days. The month January shows some fluctuation and the number of sick leavers declined to 45. Over the period of January till March the graph shows no fluctuation and the numbers remained quite constant. This trend can be explained by the fact that the workers became accustomed to the New Year and its daily routine tasks. There was less pressure on the workers and they were exposed to less stress. Till now the company doctor had 3 reports reported to the Human Resource manager. In the first part of the month March there is a slight decline but suddenly from the mid of the month March there is a sharp increase in the graph line. The obvious reason for this is the change in the weather. Report 4 of the company doctor analyzed the speed of the wind in the month March. The conclusion is that a lot of workers became sick and were not able to work due to the bad weather. The upward trend kept hold throughout April till the mid of the Month. There was a short interruption in the graph line. In mid April the trend reached the number of 55 sick workers which is the same as in the start of the year. The upward trend that is recorded since mid March is, interrupted by some erratically fluctuation, still growing further to reach a point of 65 number of workers. During this period workers were affected by hay fever. Report 5 of the doctor is dedicated to this issue. Additional, a dramatically decline is observed from June to July, bottomed out to 24 sick leavers. After some flutter we see a steep increase from begin September in the graph line. This sharp increase will reach a maximum point of 75 workers in December 2009.
We can conclude that the number of sick leavers in the year 2009 was very irregular and it fluctuated between 24 and 75.
I will really apperciate your help.
The below text;
The given graph in assignment 2 reflects the sick leave trend in a multi-national company based in the Netherlands over a twelve-month period from January to December 2009.
At the start of the year 2009 numbers were quite high at 55, this was because there were a large number of workers who had a busy time during the charismas days. The month January shows some fluctuation and the number of sick leavers declined to 45. Over the period of January till March the graph shows no fluctuation and the numbers remained quite constant. This trend can be explained by the fact that the workers became accustomed to the New Year and its daily routine tasks. There was less pressure on the workers and they were exposed to less stress. Till now the company doctor had 3 reports reported to the Human Resource manager. In the first part of the month March there is a slight decline but suddenly from the mid of the month March there is a sharp increase in the graph line. The obvious reason for this is the change in the weather. Report 4 of the company doctor analyzed the speed of the wind in the month March. The conclusion is that a lot of workers became sick and were not able to work due to the bad weather. The upward trend kept hold throughout April till the mid of the Month. There was a short interruption in the graph line. In mid April the trend reached the number of 55 sick workers which is the same as in the start of the year. The upward trend that is recorded since mid March is, interrupted by some erratically fluctuation, still growing further to reach a point of 65 number of workers. During this period workers were affected by hay fever. Report 5 of the doctor is dedicated to this issue. Additional, a dramatically decline is observed from June to July, bottomed out to 24 sick leavers. After some flutter we see a steep increase from begin September in the graph line. This sharp increase will reach a maximum point of 75 workers in December 2009.
We can conclude that the number of sick leavers in the year 2009 was very irregular and it fluctuated between 24 and 75.
Top answer
Here are my suggestions for your description. New wording is in boldface; deleted wording is crossed out. In addition to various corrections, I also suggest these particular changes: Paragraph to break up the block of words.
- Here are my suggestions for your description.
- New wording is in boldface; deleted wording is crossed out.
- In addition to various corrections, I also suggest these particular changes: Paragraph to break up the block of words.
- Trim excess wordage.
- Beware of using adverbs where adjectives are called for (dramatic not dramatically).
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1 Answers
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Here are my suggestions for your description. New wording is in boldface; deleted wording is crossed out. In addition to various corrections, I also suggest these particular changes:
Paragraph to break up the block of words. Trim excess wordage. Beware of using adverbs where adjectives are called for (dramatic not dramatically). Set off introductory phrases with a co
Paragraph to break up the block of words. Trim excess wordage. Beware of using adverbs where adjectives are called for (dramatic not dramatically). Set off introductory phrases with a co
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