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Spring Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Grammar/vocabulary
Dear Teachers, could you please check my paragraph for grammar mistakes or any awkward usage of vocabulary or anything else?
I was born in a country that is no more. About 15-16 years ago, some unknown people to me decided they wanted no longer to live together in the same country. I am aware that even when you “small people”(meaning children) disagree with each other, you resolve your conflicts peacefully. However, grown-up people of my country chose the most destructive way of dealing with their problem-a bloody war. Yugoslavia, the country I was born in, was mercilessly destroyed by the hatred of its own people. Living without running water, electricity, not enough food was nothing compared to living in fear of people’s ablazed hatred. Being a pacifist, I could not and would not allow propaganda inject hostile thoughts and feelings into my blood towards people of different nationalities. That’s when for the first time leaving my beloved country was hatched in my head . Canada was my choice for I had two uncles living here. In 1993 I descended on the land of Canada and have been living here ever since. According to my passport, I was a citizen of Bosnia upon my arriving here. For a long while I thought I was a Bosnian. Nevertheless, recently when I mailed something to my sister, who lives in Bosnia, I found it to be no true any more. Instead of Bosnia there was Serbian Republic. Was I ever surprised?! Living in a war country was very different from any other life experience of mine. Also, being a child in my country was strikingly different from yours.
Thank you very much for your help,
Spring
I was born in a country that is no more. About 15-16 years ago, some unknown people to me decided they wanted no longer to live together in the same country. I am aware that even when you “small people”(meaning children) disagree with each other, you resolve your conflicts peacefully. However, grown-up people of my country chose the most destructive way of dealing with their problem-a bloody war. Yugoslavia, the country I was born in, was mercilessly destroyed by the hatred of its own people. Living without running water, electricity, not enough food was nothing compared to living in fear of people’s ablazed hatred. Being a pacifist, I could not and would not allow propaganda inject hostile thoughts and feelings into my blood towards people of different nationalities. That’s when for the first time leaving my beloved country was hatched in my head . Canada was my choice for I had two uncles living here. In 1993 I descended on the land of Canada and have been living here ever since. According to my passport, I was a citizen of Bosnia upon my arriving here. For a long while I thought I was a Bosnian. Nevertheless, recently when I mailed something to my sister, who lives in Bosnia, I found it to be no true any more. Instead of Bosnia there was Serbian Republic. Was I ever surprised?! Living in a war country was very different from any other life experience of mine. Also, being a child in my country was strikingly different from yours.
Thank you very much for your help,
Spring
Top answer
'I was born in a country that is no more. About 15 or 16 years ago, some people unknown to me decided they no longer wanted to live together in the same country. I am aware that when “small people”(meaning children) disagree with each other, they resolve their conflicts peacefully.
- 'I was born in a country that is no more.
- About 15 or 16 years ago, some people unknown to me decided they no longer wanted to live together in the same country.
- I am aware that when “small people”(meaning children) disagree with each other, they resolve their conflicts peacefully.
- However, grown-up people of my country chose the most destructive way of dealing with their problem-- a ****** war.
- Yugoslavia, the country where I was born, was mercilessly destroyed by the hatred of its own people.
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2 Answers
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'I was born in a country that is no more. About 15 or 16 years ago, some people unknown to me decided they no longer wanted to live together in the same country. I am aware that when “small people”(meaning children) disagree with each other, they resolve their conflicts peacefully. However, grown-up people of my country chose the most destructive way of dealing with their problem-- a ****** war.
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