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Kk Posted 21 years ago
Grammar

Grammar questions. Thank you very much

I think thses sentences still have a lot of rooms for improvement.
But, I don't know how to revise them.
Please, help me check them.
Thank you for your help.


The abolishment of the policy of wearing school unidorms is a symbol of democracy.

I will devoted myself to fashioning the specific remedy, which can not only heal AIDS patients but also decrease people's fear of AIDS.

Those who are infected with AIDS auffer from the misery of losing family's support and motive for existing in here.

Eliminating the concept of making friends by external appearance makes it possible for people to understand deeply a person’s strength

I sometimes recalled that if I would have used the superficial attitude of external appearance to evaluate him, I hadn’t lost a friend who is gifted.

They still insist on their principle that people’s appearance should be taken priority.
  

Top answer

The First Rule of Revision, kk, is to eliminate superfluity : The abolishment of school uniforms is a symbol of democracy. I will devote myself to discovering a remedy not only for AIDS but also for the fear of AIDS. Those infected with AIDS suffer from the miseries of losing their family's support and their reason for living.

  • The First Rule of Revision, kk, is to eliminate superfluity : The abolishment of school uniforms is a symbol of democracy.
  • I will devote myself to discovering a remedy not only for AIDS but also for the fear of AIDS.
  • Those infected with AIDS suffer from the miseries of losing their family's support and their reason for living.
  • No longer judging friends by external appearance enables us to understand a person’s real strengths.
  • If I had judged him by external appearance, I would have lost a gifted friend.
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1 Answers
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The First Rule of Revision, kk, is to eliminate superfluity:


The abolishment of school uniforms is a symbol of democracy.

I will devote myself to discovering a remedy not only for AIDS but also for the fear of AIDS.

Those infected with AIDS suffer from the miseries of losing their family's support and their reason for living.

No longer judging fr

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