Grammar of a long sentence
Hi.
Is this long sentence correct and idiomatic? If not, can you please rewrite it?
"My old heart has rejoiced as much as the roots of an old oak tree, punished by the hot summer sun, when the first autumn rain comes."
I want to imitate the way that some old and wise men from China speak in classic movies. The intended meaning of the sentence is that the man is as happy as an old tree being watered by the rain that comes at the beginning of autumn, after a very dry summer that had almost burned its roots.
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CarolMontes Is this long sentence correct and idiomatic? Close. The present perfect does not seem to be called for—I think I would use the simple present unless there was a reason not to in the surrounding text.
- CarolMontes Is this long sentence correct and idiomatic?
- Close.
- The present perfect does not seem to be called for—I think I would use the simple present unless there was a reason not to in the surrounding text.
- "As much as" is too pedestrian for the tone you want—"like" is better.
- To say that the sun punished the roots is puzzling, since they are under the ground, so that the reader does not know at first where to apply the "punished" phrase and tries for "tree", which does not fit the grammar—perhaps the roots belong at the end with the water.
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CarolMontesIs this long sentence correct and idiomatic?
Close. The present perfect does not seem to be called for—I think I would use the simple present unless there was a reason not to in the surrounding text. "As much as" is too pedestrian for the tone you want—"like" is better. To say that the sun punished the roots is puzzling, since they are under the
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