Grammar jokes

Question

One that's missing isA fragment walking into a bar.Feel free to add more.

Clive · Accepted Answer

A preposition walks into a bar and says 'The drinks are in me'.

A query walks into a bar and says ''May I order a beer?'

The bartender says 'Is there a clause in the house?' and someone asks 'Do you want Santa or Subordinate?'

The present continuous tense picks a bar fight by asking 'Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me?'

Tom tries to pick up the bar-maid, and she says 'My, you're a bold one'.

Cool Breeze · Answer

"A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave."

I see no dangling modifier here. I think the sentence is perfect Oxford University English. The bartender asks the dangling modifier to leave after he has finished a drink. Bartenders are not allowed to drink in Finland, though.

CB

Dave_anon · Answer

Oh dear, this is all terrible

What do you say to a semi colon that tries to pick a fight in a bar?

- You'll need more guts than that

Dave

Mister Micawber · Answer

Some italics walk into a bar and the bartender asks them to pay first.

....I can't do these...

Clive · Answer

The italic tells the bartender, 'I'm inclined to have a beer'.

Rover_KE · Answer

A pretty grammar student asked the barman for a double entendre so he gave her one.

Anonymous · Answer

Cool Breeze"A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave."I see no dangling modifier here. I think the sentence is perfect Oxford University English. The bartender asks the dangling modifier to leave after he has finished a drink. Bartenders are not allowed to drink in Finland, though.CB

You do not understand the meaning of a dangling modifier, then. The joke does not clarify whether the dangling modifier finished the drink or the bartender finished the drink, thus making it a dangling modifier. Technically, the joke says that the bartender finished the drink ("After finishing the drink, the bartender..."), though the sentence implies that the dangling modifier should have been the one to finish it, since it walked into the bar at the beginning of the joke.

Anonymous · Answer

[courtesy of siri...]

The past, present and future walk into a bar.
It was tense.

Clive · Answer

[courtesy of siri...]

The past, present and future walk into a bar.
It was tense.

Hey, I invented this joke, here on the Forum a while back. Siri pinched it from me!
Clive

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