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Kabata Posted 16 years ago
Grammar
Grammar in motivation letter
Hi guys! Could you help me with grammar in this motivation letter? I think my vocabulary and grammar here isn't very good. So I will be thankfull for you respond.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am hereby applying for entrance to Marketing Management programme at the Business Academy Copengahen North for the September 2010.
I am from a small village in Lithuania but I have always been fascinated with the world of business not only in my country but all over the world. The economic situation is quite bad all over the world now, so it is very exciting to follow the advancement or decline of companies. I finished high school two years ago and I needed a lot of time to decide what profesion I want to choose for future. I got to know with your school for last four months and understood that marketing managment is what I want to do. Marketing plans and business in other countries seems very exciting. I am looking forward to study international sales and marketing management at Your school as well.
I belive that the Business Academy Copengahen North is a great start for an ambitious business career.
Thank you for your time, consideration and forthcoming response.
Yours faithfully,
Z.R.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am hereby applying for entrance to Marketing Management programme at the Business Academy Copengahen North for the September 2010.
I am from a small village in Lithuania but I have always been fascinated with the world of business not only in my country but all over the world. The economic situation is quite bad all over the world now, so it is very exciting to follow the advancement or decline of companies. I finished high school two years ago and I needed a lot of time to decide what profesion I want to choose for future. I got to know with your school for last four months and understood that marketing managment is what I want to do. Marketing plans and business in other countries seems very exciting. I am looking forward to study international sales and marketing management at Your school as well.
I belive that the Business Academy Copengahen North is a great start for an ambitious business career.
Thank you for your time, consideration and forthcoming response.
Yours faithfully,
Z.R.
Top answer
I've gone ahead and done a brief proofread with all my grammar corrections and vocabulary suggestions thrown in. I omitted some repetitive statements and changed some phrasing as well. I would suggest you check what is the proper name of your field of study.
- I've gone ahead and done a brief proofread with all my grammar corrections and vocabulary suggestions thrown in.
- I omitted some repetitive statements and changed some phrasing as well.
- I would suggest you check what is the proper name of your field of study.
- I assumed it was "Marketing Management Programme" and so capitalized the "p", but if that's just a generic description, then none of the words should be capitalized.
- Dear Sir or Madam, I am hereby applying for entrance to the Marketing Management Programme at the Business Academy Copenhagen North for September 2010.
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2 Answers
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I've gone ahead and done a brief proofread with all my grammar corrections and vocabulary suggestions thrown in. I omitted some repetitive statements and changed some phrasing as well. I would suggest you check what is the proper name of your field of study. I assumed it was "Marketing Management Programme" and so capitalized the "p", but if that's just a generic description, then none of t
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Reading my revision once more, I realized I used the word "globe" twice in back-to-back sentences. I had meant to replace "world" only once with this synonym so as to avoid sounding repetitive. I would suggest you revert one of the two back to "world".
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