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Anonymous Posted 12 years ago
Grammar help please
Correct this for me pls
This knife that traverses the clouds above,
In the middle of the blue sky!
Are you a Middle East knight,
dancing with the stars, alright?
under the theater given to the humankind..
Even all of the sun that shine,
couldn't ever pass you by,
twilight in those starry eyes,
like a diamond in the sky!
Here, in the rhythm of the stage tonight,
do you feel the souls have cried,
also this season of the Valentine!
This knife that traverses the clouds above,
In the middle of the blue sky!
Are you a Middle East knight,
dancing with the stars, alright?
under the theater given to the humankind..
Even all of the sun that shine,
couldn't ever pass you by,
twilight in those starry eyes,
like a diamond in the sky!
Here, in the rhythm of the stage tonight,
do you feel the souls have cried,
also this season of the Valentine!
Top answer
Your poem is poetic but the English doesn't make sense. Here's more syntactical - though not as poetic - revision: The sword that slashes through those clouds in a sea-blue sky, is that yours, Middle Eastern knight? And will you be dancing with the stars tonight, before the vast theater of humankind?
- Your poem is poetic but the English doesn't make sense.
- Here's more syntactical - though not as poetic - revision: The sword that slashes through those clouds in a sea-blue sky, is that yours, Middle Eastern knight?
- And will you be dancing with the stars tonight, before the vast theater of humankind?
- The brightest sun that ever shone couldn't surpass you in brightness, nor any stars at night, the twinkle in your eye.
- You're a diamond in the sky, dear knight.
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1 Answers
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Your poem is poetic but the English doesn't make sense. Here's more syntactical - though not as poetic - revision:
The sword that slashes through those clouds in
a sea-blue sky,
is that yours, Middle Eastern knight?
And will you be dancing with the stars tonight,
before the vast theater of humankind?
The brightest sun that ever shone
couldn't surpass you in b
The sword that slashes through those clouds in
a sea-blue sky,
is that yours, Middle Eastern knight?
And will you be dancing with the stars tonight,
before the vast theater of humankind?
The brightest sun that ever shone
couldn't surpass you in b
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