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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Grammar check for intro to essay

Hello people! I want to know if this intro to my essay is grammatically correct.

I would appreciate if you would tell me specifics on what to fix and how I may go about fixing these errors.

Thank you for your time and efforts!

As I sit in my room in front of my computer while typing away at an outline for an essay I glance upward and see a poster hanging upon my wall with a picture of a white and red mech standing with a nostalgic aura with a peculiar v-shaped ornament upon what appears to be its head. I begin to recall bits and pieces of this show and I snap my fingers with gleeful recognition as I remember its name "G- Gundam," and abruptly realize with horror that I had forgotten something so important to my childhood. Suddenly a though hit me as if I had been struck by lightning, "when did I stop watching G- Gundam?" I remember that I watched the show with a certain fondness for a very long time, and I used to cherish every moment of it. I even have model figures in my room that I dust off once in a while, but what exactly made me lose interest in them? I started to ask myself "what was it that had started the digression of my love for this certain show?"
  

Top answer

Hi, I want to know if this intro to my essay is grammatically correct. I would appreciate if you would tell me specifics on what to fix and how I may go about fixing these errors. Thank you for your time and efforts!

  • Hi, I want to know if this intro to my essay is grammatically correct.
  • I would appreciate if you would tell me specifics on what to fix and how I may go about fixing these errors.
  • Thank you for your time and efforts!
  • Here are some edits and suggestions.
  • ) with a peculiar v-shaped ornament (these 2 'with' phrases in a row are not good style) upon what appears to be its head.
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1 Answers
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Hi,

I want to know if this intro to my essay is grammatically correct.

I would appreciate if you would tell me specifics on what to fix and how I may go about fixing these errors.

Thank you for your time and efforts! Here are some edits and suggestions.

As I sit in my room in front of my com

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