Grammar check for application form

Hi there

Could you please take a look at the following para and make suggestion on how I can make it more precise and grammatically correct?

I am not quite sure whether I am allowed to post a whole block of text like this. Feel free to remove the post if it is in the wrong board. But I really want to get it right as it is very important for me to get this new job

Thank you.

"After looking at the end-of-year web statistics for 2007-2008 FY, I realised that the number of page views for our site remained stagnant in that year despite a sharp increase in the number of visitors.

After analysing internet traffic reports and results from the customer surveys, a step-by-step restructuring of the site was carried out. It involved adding more content, which will be of better use for the visitors and by deleting a number of unpopular pages to enhance the structure of the site.

One of the major barriers for me to carry out this task was the lack of content or content writer locally (in the country office). Yet, I was able to go round this issue by working together with the staff from Thailand and Columbia and sourcing from an external website.

After the revamp carried out together with the staff from all the teams, we have been enjoying a significant rise in all key performance indicators in this FY. According to the statistics collated up to the end of January 2009, the number of page impressions increased by **%, unique visitors increased by **%, visits increased ** % and time on site increased by **%."