grammar and verb tense check please!

Question

hi everyone i need help for this paragraph. Can someone check my grammar and verb tenses? please!

In the essay” Wreck the Hall with Antique Vases”, written by Nina Penalosa, she states that she got blamed for broken the vases even she didn’t do it. That accident when she was four year old and she never forget the detail on that night. On the Christmas Eve her cousin Cynthia and her sister Nikki was playing in the hallway near to her mom fragile collections. But unfortunately they accident hit one of antique vases of Nina mom. When she heard the sound and looked into the hallway. She saw Cynthia and Nikki quickly ran to the safely place and left her alone in the hallway. When adults in the living room heard the crash from the hallway, they quickly ran into it. When they came, Nina was the only one standing there and stared at the broken pieces of glass. All they yes are looked on her and asked “Nina, what did you do?” she said she didn’t do anything. Suddenly her auntie Ashie yelled at her and asks her to apologize to her mom. Her auntie pushed her toward her mom to say sorry. But her mom didn’t mad at her at all. She also adds everything seemed fine but her auntie started to scolded her and yell at her in her native language. She said, she was scared at her shark voice. When Nina said sorry to her mom, then her mom gave her a hug. The she ran to her room, over there she cried some more and talk to her doll. After a few minutes Cynthia oldest sister came to her room and invite her to color with them. But she reject it and ask them to leave her alone. After the Christmas day Cynthia and Nikki admit that they breaking the vases but they didn’t get the punishment. She concludes that, she never forget that Christmas Eve when her cousin and sister broke her mom antique vases.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Dear BBG - Please try to be careful when you write. If you don't think carefully about every word you write, you will not learn why you make mistakes. Think about tenses - present, past, future. Think about plurals - is this one, or more than one? If it is more than one, add an 's'. Think about possessive case - if it belongs to someone or something, add "'s" Think about the infinitive form. It does not use the past participle.
I have made suggestions to the first part of your paragraph. Try to think about grammar carefully when you correct the second part. Then post your paragraph again.
All the best,
A-Stars

babyblue_girl08In ~~the~~ her essay” Wreck the Hall with Antique Vases”, ~~written by~~ Nina Penalosa~~, she~~ states that she was ~~got~~ blamed for breaking (gerund) ~~broken~~ the vases even though she didn’t do it. That accident happened when she was four years (plural)old and she never forgot (past tense)the details (plural) on that night. On ~~the~~ Christmas Eve, her cousin Cynthia and her sister Nikki were (plural) ~~was~~ playing in the hallway near to her mom's (possessive) fragile collections. But unfortunately they accidentally (adverb, not adjective )hit one of antique vases of Nina's (possessive) mom. When she heard the sound and looked into the hallway. She saw Cynthia and Nikki quickly running (gerund) ~~ran~~ to a ~~the~~ safely place and leaving (gerund -parallel with running) ~~left~~ her alone in the hallway. When the adults in the living room heard the crash from the hallway, they quickly ran into it. When they came, Nina was the only one standing there and staring (was standing and staring) ~~stared~~ at the broken pieces of glass.
All they yes are looked on her (please rewrite the first part of the sentence; "are looked" is not past tense, and it is not a proper verb form) and asked “Nina, what did you do?” she said she didn’t do anything. Suddenly her auntie Ashie yelled at her and asked (past tense) her to apologize to her mom.

Babyblue_girl08 · Answer

thank you so much for always cheking my writing. Here i edited my paragraph.

All they eyes were looked on her and asked “Nina, what did you do?” she said she didn’t do anything. Suddenly her auntie Ashie yelled at her and asked her to apologize to her mom.

Her auntie pushed her toward her mom to say sorry. But her mom did not mad at her at all. She also adds everything seemed fine after she said sorry to her mom but her auntie start to scolded and yelled at her in their native language. Nina said, she was scared at her auntie shark voice. When Nina apologized to her mom and she gave her a hugged. Then she ran to her room, over there she cried some more and talk to her doll. After a few minutes Cynthia oldest sister came to her room and invite her to color with them. But she rejected it and asked them to leave her alone. After the Christmas day Cynthia and Nikki admitted that they breaking the vases but they didn’t get the punish. She concludes that, she never forgot that Christmas Eve when her cousin and sister broke her mom antique vases.

Anonymous · Answer

I really enjoyed listening to your presentation.I learned a lot more about you during your presentation. But there are three things that i’m really interested about you. Where you came from, the fact that you like to engineer and build, and playing games.

I was surprised and interested on where you can from because I never knew that you were from Myanmar.

Anonymous · Answer

I look inside a house.

Anonymous · Answer

According to Dictionary.com, a leader is a person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country. Ralph is an amazing leader who leads his tribe. In the novel, Lord of the Flies, by William Golding, Ralph is the best person on the island to be the boys' leader. For instance, Ralph is the most responsible and civilized boy. He also listens to the other's opinion about what to do and change on the island. All of this proves that Ralph is meant to be a leader when he first arrives on the island.
At the beginning of the novel, the boys elect Ralph as their tribe's leader, which gives him a lot of responsibility to keep his tribe safe. Firstly, Ralph and Piggy wake up from being in a plane crash after landing on an island. They begin to walk along the side of the island to stumble upon a conch that catches their eye. In the text, Piggy picks up the conch and hands it to Ralph. He tells Ralph to blow into the conch for the reason for him not being able because of his asthma. Ralph then takes the conch to blow into it to gather the boys together. He steps up and uses the conch when Piggy could not. This shows that Ralph is responsible because he knows that when blowing the conch he needs to take care of all the boys that he would gather together. Secondly, since Ralph is chief he is bestowed with many new responsibilities. His first priority is to make a fire to provide smoke for incoming ships to see and rescue them. In the text, Ralph says, “‘If a ship comes near the island they may not notice us. So we must make smoke on top of the mountain. We must make a fire.’” This example shows that Ralph is prioritizing rescuing his tribe over everything else. He is responsible by worrying about his tribe's lives by making sure he is going to do everything he can to get his tribe off the island. Additionally, he is very responsible because he cares about his tribe and not only himself. Even though there are many boys, he needs to look after all of them. Finally, while the littluns and Jack’s choir are out having fun, Ralph and Simon stay back to build shelters. They spend several hours working hard to build shelters to protect the tribe from harsh weather conditions. The text states, “Ralph was standing by a contraption of palm trunks and leaves, a rude shelter that faced the lagoon…” This proves that in order to survive Ralph puts all his work before having fun so that his tribe will be safe and he protects them from the dangers of the island. It is one thing is to just be responsible, but Ralph cares about being a responsible leader and caring for his tribe.
In the middle of the novel, Ralph cares about his tribe and he starts to listen to others opinions to help influence how he leads his tribe. Piggy is a very smart member of Ralph’s tribe who begins influencing Ralph. Ralph barely ever cares about what Piggy says, until now. The novel talks about how Ralph admires Piggy’s ability to think, so he starts to allow others to influence the way he leads as well. This example shows that Ralph uses others opinions to influence the way the boys live on the island because he listens to what his tribe says and follows them out. Also, Ralph's tribe never helps around camp, so he decides to hold a meeting to address issues. Ralph believes that in order to survive each member has to do their part, so based on what others say to him, he addresses what the tribe needs to focus on. To the tribe, Ralph says, “‘We were going to have water brought from the stream and left in those coconut shells under fresh leaves. Then there are huts. Shelters.’” This represents how Ralph leads his tribe by addressing the issues that his members tell him regarding how they live on the island. The way he is responsive to others option makes him the greatest leader of all the boys. Lastly, Ralph, Jack, and some of the other boys went to explore the rest of the island. During their exploration, they find new territory that Jack and the rest of the boys want to stay at. Ralph disagrees with the boys and says, “‘There’s no food here,” said Ralph, “and no shelter. Not much fresh water.’” Ralph thinks about the survival of his tribe and about their safety. As a result, he makes sure that they know that the place they want to stay at is unsafe. Leadership may be stressful for some people, but Ralph manages to be calm and civilized.
Finally, Ralph is the most civilized person on the island which impacts how he is the greatest leader. Jack and his choir left Ralph’s tribe to form their own new tribe because Jack thinks he is the better leader. During the night, after Jack left, half of Ralph’s tribe goes over to join Jack's tribe. Ralph and Piggy say to each other, “‘That’s where they’ve gone. Jack’s party… for hunting...pretending to be a tribe… putting on war paint.’” This shows that Ralph‘s tribe manages to stay calm while Jack’s tribe is savage and out hunting. Ralph stays himself to be a true leader and show how he is the greatest person to lead a tribe. Additionally, Ralph still focuses on surviving and escaping while Jack’s only focus is to hunt and kill. In the novel, it says that Jack's tribe continues to go out and kill pigs and turn savage while Ralph is civilized and continues to focus on his tribe and the fire. This reveals Ralph’s maturity to stay united with his tribe and not let the island change him for worse but for better. Lastly, Jack’s tribe turns savage when putting on war paint which makes them become new people, while Ralph avoids war paint to stay civilized. When going to visit Jack’s tribe Ralph says, “‘He’ll be painted,... Well be like we were. We’ll wash—’” Ralph wants to stay his true self to show Jack that he is better and more mature. It also shows his power for being a great leader because he wants to make sure that he dresses up properly. Ralph focuses on his tribe more than himself and on his task as a leader at hand.
To conclude, the novel “Lord of the Flies” consists of the many reasons in which Ralph is the greatest leader. Ralph begins as being the most responsible boy on the island and the only one who is able to lead the tribe properly. Also, he is the most considerate and thoughtful person when others are giving him ideas. Additionally, Ralph is civilized and does not want to change the way he is, even though the island changes many people. Leaders come in all different shapes and sizes with different talents, but all real leaders listen and care about who follows them.

grammar and verb tense check please!

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions