Grammar and powerpoint presentation?

Question

Hi All,I am not sure if this is the right forum to ask. Currently, I am working as an IT developer and have applied to move from a developer position to a business analyst position in the same company. My company has a policy that they have to consider and give priorities to internal candidates first. I got an interview with the director of the new department and get rejected as he told me my presentation was full of grammar mistakes. I asked him if he could give me some examples but he told me he did not have the notes right now (I don't think I will ever get a full evaluation from him). I did not try to argue with him as it is all up to him to accept my transfer request or not. However, I went through my slides a few times and could not find any major grammar mistakes. I attached my presentation here. If you have time, could you let me know if my presentation is really bad in terms of grammar only (not the content)?My presentation could be downloaded from this link: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1tksLb-w3OZoJef1zx4dscPIRY5KLfhbkI have removed my name, company headers, and footers from the presentation for an anonymous reason. As my application was rejected, I just want to know if the grammar in my presentation was really bad. For internal transfer requests, the interview standard threshold to get accepted is very low. It is not really a real interview. Thanks.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

slide 1 - no errors
slide 2: The major issue is that there seems to be no logical progression from one point to the next, so the talk seems chaotic. It is annoying to the reader. "Why replacing" is not a grammatical phrase.

slide 3: BRD and BRD are not defined. If your audience knows these acronyms, that is not a real issue. Also, the title "problem" is not right. It is more of an objective than an problem. "software" is redundant. A data base is software. What does the system actually do? That is missing.

The title "Objective" is not right. That should have been the first point. This whole point should be deleted as it does not fitl

slide 4: "Why replacing" is not grammatical. The points do not follow this topic at all. Why? The points I would expect are: the system is obsolete, the funding has been approved at this time, there has been a reorganisation, there are new business requirements that the current one does not support, the system is difficult to use, and so on.

The topic of these slides might be: System replacement questions and considerations. (1/3)... (2/3)... (3/3)

Question marks are incorrectly used. For example "Automated business process" is not a question at all. It is a noun phrase. The indentation of bullet points is annoying. Sub-bullets should have a different form. The sub-sub bullet points are not necessary. They should be in the sub-bullets.

"How difficulty" is not grammatical.

"Process documents" is not a question.

The entire slide is chaotic.

slide 5: Again, the bullet points do not logically relate to the title.

Product testing is not a question. It has no logical connection to "support operational needs." It is perplexing. The sub-sub bullets are too much detail for a slide. (e.g. Will a minor change crash the system?" is a very strange point.)

slide 6: "securities" are financial instruments such as stocks and bonds. It does not belong.

Vendor supports is ungrammatical. "Support" is non-count.

The point about mainframe and MS Access does not fit. You are mixing up apples and oranges.

slide 7: Project deadline is not a question. Neither is "paper process"

"How much vendors will charge.." is ungrammatical. Questions require a subject/verb inversion.

"out of life" is not a grammatical phrase.

The first 2 bullet points are full sentences. The third is not. On good presentations, bullet points must be of the same grammatical structure.

I think these comments give you a good idea of the quality of this presentation. I recommend that you take a course on how to make winning presentations in PowerPoint.

Grammar and powerpoint presentation?

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