Grammar and English Check of the paragraph....

Question

Can somebody please check the grammar and structure of this paragraph? Thanks in advance.

When I was doing internship at Customer help desk in the bank I usually received complaints. Once a customer was very angry because he was having problem with electronic transfer of money between his accounts. He phoned the bank several times for help but to no use. In his angriness he came to the bank to report his complaint where I was present. Firstly I cooled him down by assuring him that I will help him and I am sorry for any inconvenience caused by the banks staff. Then I wrote down his account details and went to Information System office to find the cause. After probe the office found out that one of his accounts was not registered in the database. I immediately got back to the customer and told him the cause for the problem. I asked for his details and registered his account. Then I also showed him the way how to electronically transfer the money by transferring the money between his accounts. In the end he thanked me for the expeditious response and went away. I did not end it here, after few days I phoned him that if he feels any other problem he can ask me at any time. He thanked me and said he will continue his business with the bank because they care about their customers.

Nona the brit · Accepted Answer

When I was doing internship at Customer help desk in the bank I usually received complaints. You need to re-phrase this first sentence as it sounds as if people were complaining about YOU! 'During an internship at the bank's Customer Help Desk, I usually dealt with customer complaints.'

You need to remember to use 'the' and 'a' when necessary: the electronic transfer...the Information System office...After a probe (an investigation would be a better word)...

A few other areas need a check as well...

He had telephoned the bank...but to no avail. In his anger....cut the words 'where I was present'....I would help him and apologised for any inconvenience...showed him how to electronicaly...I phoned him and said that if he ever has another problem...

Anonymous · Answer

Can somebody please check the grammar and structure of this paragraph? Thanks in advance.
In today's world traffic is a major problem. The main reason for traffic is increase in the number of vehicles on the road. Now a days it is cheaper to buy vehicles like cars and two wheelers than a few years ago. But vehicles are now becoming accessible to the common people because of the reduction of the price. Therefore we can see many vehicles driving on the road. Another reason for increase in traffic is people's need for transport facilities increasing substantially.
With the development of science, Now everything is possible in the world. Computers are one of the most important inventions of science. We can reduce traffic by using computers. Most of the people prefer e-education,e-shopping and working from home. All these are possible by use of computer with the net connectivity. If we make some effort to reduce the amount of traffic then a pollution free and comfortable living will be created. Traffic can be reduced if people reduce their travel from home to work,education or shopping.
In big cities, If everybody uses their own car and huge vehicles then traffic increase. But on the other hand if people use subways,buses and public transport for their travel than traffic can be reduced. If people use public transportation then not only will they reduce traffic but also save money. Today fuel prices are going up day by day. Reducing the use of the automobile is a good way of saving money.
In big cities, The government should ban on the purchase of independent vehicles and should increase taxes on vehicles. If people really have a necessity for a vehicle then they can purchase,otherwise not. A traffic jam is directly related to the number of vehicles in a city. Development of the country should not be in only one city but distributed all over the country. By distribution of development we can distribute the traffic equally. To overcome the problem causing by traffic, Government should encourage people to use public transport and should organize awareness programs on traffic rules and regulations.

Grammar and English Check of the paragraph....

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