Grad-school essay, please feel free to read though and leave your feedback on my text. :)

I would really appreciate if you could give me your feedback on my research plan for graduate school admissions. Emotion: smile

Describe your motivation for pursing a formalized study of sustainability or sustainability science. In your explanation, relate important elements of your background and experiences. Also describe what kind of academic or professional career you envision for yourself after completing the XXXX Program.
Since independence, XXX has been going through pivotal transformations in all spheres of life. Our country badly needs highly qualified and professional cadres who will further democratize its economic and social systems. I would like to become one of those young, highly educated,
talented, skilled and creative citizens of XXX and make my own contribution to the
development of my country and nation.
My interest in Sustainability Science grew when I came to Japan and understood the Japanese way of life which involves sustainability and safety in every aspect of their lives.A nation that constantly experiences natural disasters has impressed me how it copes with difficult situations professionally.
Since coming to Japan, I worked out my educational plans which will help me to achieve my goals. After considering many universities for masters course, I selected XXX program. The reasons were educational quality, high academic standards, cultural wealth, friendly environment, diverse members in the program and all other facilities provided by the XXX Earning my Master's degree in Sustainability Science in Japan would best fit my ambitions because the education system at XXX allows students to study interdisciplinary studies. Studying here will enable me for me to be the best and help me to reach my dreams and ambitions.
Getting my degree in Bachelors of Art at XXX University has given me the initial tools to realize my life-long goal. The four year undergraduate program in Social Science formed the basis of my perseverance towards achieving an in-depth knowledge in the field of Sustainable Development, human impact on environment, Environmental Politics, Development Economics, and others. Motivated to learn more, I have taken classes from liberal arts department as well as a broad range of academic disciplines related to Social Science.
My more than 3 years of experience here, has sparked my interest in Sustainability Science even more when i have started participating in Negotiation Club.
Being part of negotiation club at XXX University, I participated in XXX University Model United Nations which is organised annually by the University which has impacted my life positively. i was the committee supervisor that encouraged Japanese students to express their opinions freely. It is a privilege to take part in and being a member of international Negotiation club which helped me develop my debating skills. Moreover, it gave me opportunity to address social issues from different approaches as well as lead me thinking that environmental issues can’t be neglected. and should be addressed by all countries, research entities and IGO”s and NGO’s as well.
Our negotiation team yearly takes part in NMUN-DC , and i had an opportunity to participate in 2014 and 2016 respectively. NMUN in return granted me the ability to see the situation from a global perspective, and has become an important teacher for me, educating me on compromise and quick thinking. These experiences have showed me that, Sustainable development is the key for peaceful and prosperous future for humankind, and sparked a great interest in sustainability science.
Being able to help and motivate others to succeed is one of the greatest satisfactions in my life. I am committed to become an ethical leader and role model on campus and the general community. After graduation I intend to continue my studies and apply for Doctoral degree. Throughout University years, I want to expand my horizons, extend my research scope and build up connections that can be used in my professional career. I am sure that my educational experiences from XXXI would serve a cornerstone in my future academic and professional career. Furthermore, my international background will definitely add more diversity to your program. I hope I will have the opportunity to join XX program.