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Tomas Sadilek Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Good stylistic?

Hi, would you change the following two sentences to sound better?

Thanks!

We have seen a rapid growth of renewable energies in the past decade: fuel cells, solar panels, and wind turbines produce energy that is inherently incompatible with the grid. Efficient power conversion is one of the drivers that have enabled the renewable technologies to flourish.
  

Top answer

I would break up the first sentence (it now jams together two separate ideas) and reword the closing sentence. Here is one way to word this: We have seen a rapid growth of renewable energies in the past decade: fuel cells, solar panels, and wind turbines. However, these produce energy that is inherently incompatible with the grid.

— Doctor D

  • I would break up the first sentence (it now jams together two separate ideas) and reword the closing sentence.
  • Here is one way to word this: We have seen a rapid growth of renewable energies in the past decade: fuel cells, solar panels, and wind turbines.
  • However, these produce energy that is inherently incompatible with the grid.
  • More efficient power conversion is the key factor in allowing renewable technologies to flourish.
  • I hope this helps.
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1 Answers
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I would break up the first sentence (it now jams together two separate ideas) and reword the closing sentence. Here is one way to word this:

We have seen a rapid growth of renewable energies in the past decade: fuel cells, solar panels, and wind turbines. However, these produce energy that is inherently incompatible with the grid. More efficient power conversion is the
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