Give some correction in my motivation letter

Dear everyone:

I'm writing a Motivation Letter for a Master Degree. I'm not a native speaker, so I would aprreciate any comments about it.Thanks in advance.

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am applying to your Master program of "Information Technology and Informatics" with specialization in "Programming and Network-distributed systems" starting in August 2012. My career ambition is to become a specialist in Communication and Information Technology field.

I was very interested in computer since I went to high school. I helped friends buy main boards, display cards, giving them comparison and analysis among lots of vendors. I set up a web forum by developing html codes to make my classmates communicate with each other.

After I entered the Nanjing University of Finance & Economics, passion and interest drove me major in Computer Science and Technology. Since English is a crucial tool to get the latest information and trend about computer science, I not only passed the College English Test Band 4 in the first semester, but also the College English Test Band 6 in the second. I got 96 points in Linear Algebra exam, 92 points in Assembly Language Programming exam, and 90 points in Operating System exam. Among the four-year studying, I got the scholarship each year, which helped me buy lots of original English version books on computer and programming. Besides that, I am well rounded. I was the leader of English Club and the member of our faculty’s football team. I got internship at China Mobile Communication Corporation due to the excellent C language programming ability.

After graduation from the university, I was the only one in the university who was chosen by Fiberhome Telecommunication Technologies Co. Ltd. I joined the R&D dept. to develop products related to VoIP technology. I was promoted to project manager because of deep research in VoIP protocols and fixing major bugs. After working for 3 years, I joined Huawei Technologies Co. Ltd., which is the number 2 global information and communications technology (ICT) solutions provider. Because of stable module our team developed without bugs, I was promoted to Project Manager of Service Inspection Gateway product. Having worked in R&D for 5 years, with deep insight into network communication, I was sent to Sales dept. as a product manager in Chile. With the presentation I did, Telefonica, which is the third largest telecommunications provider in the world, finally chose our firewall in bidding, which was a market breakthrough in Chile.

After six years working experience dedicated in computer science and technology, telecommunication, I feel that I must pursue my dreams and ambitions by applying your program. There are three key reasons why I want to study at this program. First, I selected your program because of its primary focus on distributed service with networks. In the era of mobile broadband, I am interested in distributed programming using multiple components via a network. Second, when I worked with clients from Telenor, who graduated from University of Oslo, they are proficient in network protocol and understood the network infrastructure extremely deeply. Their solid technical foundation makes me believe that the quality of education is excellent. And last, Post doctor Lu Li, who works in Department of Geosciences in University of Oslo, encouraged me to study at University of Oslo. I am thankful for her thoughtfulness and friendship.

I am confident that I will bring a high level of energy and enthusiasm to your program. I am sure to exceed your expectations, because of both my academic and interpersonal skills as well as the experience gained from Huawei Company. I will enrich the program by enabling fellow students and professors to benefit from my ambitious and open nature.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Yours sincerely,

Wei Zhang