Give me feedback for ielts writing task 2
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.
Discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays, people tend to go to university to have higher education. Others believe that having a job after graduate high school is much better. Although both of them are benefical in their own ways, I agree with the former.
On the one hand, it is clear that college or university is one of the shortest way to achieve career prospects. It do wonders for us because it can help us widen knowledge about our major and lecturer will impart their experience about their field. Moreover, recently most of big company require higher academic education such as Uniclever, Facebook, Microsoft,... And it is your advantage in apply a job which have high salary. Futhermore, you will have a chance to make new friend or maybe meet your collegue who have the same job with you.
On the other hand, finding a job directly after high school have some benefits. Firstly, you can earn money ealier and become independent of your familys. You will have your own life and get your dream sooner than student. Secondly, you can practice an improve your skill yourselves. You accumulate your experience from what you do and your work experience longer than people in your age but study university. And it is thought that people who get a job straight after school seem more mature.
In conclusion, because of the main points mentioned above, I believe that student who have higher academic background seem more successfully in pursuiting their dreams.
Top answer
You have some good argument points, and they can be understood, but the grammar is quite bad. Incorrect sentence structure, choosing singular instead of plural nouns, verb/subject matching errors, not using "the" or "a" where required, spelling errors, incorrect verb forms and unnatural collocations - you make all these mistakes very frequently. Also you will lose points because you did not write the minimum word count.
- You have some good argument points, and they can be understood, but the grammar is quite bad.
- Incorrect sentence structure, choosing singular instead of plural nouns, verb/subject matching errors, not using "the" or "a" where required, spelling errors, incorrect verb forms and unnatural collocations - you make all these mistakes very frequently.
- Also you will lose points because you did not write the minimum word count.
- (250) Finally, when you take one position, and have to argue both views, the first body paragraph needs to be the view that is NOT your position.
- The reason in coherence and cohesion.
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You have some good argument points, and they can be understood, but the grammar is quite bad. Incorrect sentence structure, choosing singular instead of plural nouns, verb/subject matching errors, not using "the" or "a" where required, spelling errors, incorrect verb forms and unnatural collocations - you make all these mistakes very frequently.
Also you will lose points because yo
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