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Contiluo Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Getting sick

I have revised the composition below which was originally written by a student. However, I'm not satisfied with it. Please help me correct the errors in it. Thanks a lot.

Everyone gets sick sometimes. Getting sick may be caused by a variety of reasons, but there are two common reasons why it happens. First, people who work long hours and don’t get enough sleep are easily to get sick. Second, people who eat too much unhealthy food, like instant noodles, French fries, popcorn, fried chicken, and Cokes, which are poor diet increasing the risk of various illnesses. Here are two effect ways to keep you from getting sick. For one way, eating right. If you eat a well-rounded, balanced diet, your body can function at its best. Getting good nutrition is about getting the nutrients, vitamins, and minerals that your body needs. For example, eat a variety of fruits and vegetables daily, or eat whole grains whenever possible. For another way, doing physical activity regularly. Physical activity can not only help you prevent diseases, but also will help you feel better and stay at a healthy weight. Try to do a total of 30 minutes of constant physical activity, such as fast walking, most days of the week. Following these two tips will keep you from getting sick.
  

Top answer

contiluo Getting sick may be caused by a variety of reasons, but there are two common reasons why it happens . The highlighted part is repetitive. The sentence could be simplified as: Getting sick may be caused by a variety of reasons, but there are two common ones .

  • contiluo Getting sick may be caused by a variety of reasons, but there are two common reasons why it happens .
  • The highlighted part is repetitive.
  • The sentence could be simplified as: Getting sick may be caused by a variety of reasons, but there are two common ones .
  • contiluo First, people who work long hours and don’t get enough sleep are easily to get sick .
  • The highlighted part is wrong.
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2 Answers
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contiluoGetting sick may be caused by a variety of reasons, but there are two common reasons why it happens.
The highlighted part is repetitive. The sentence could be simplified as: Getting sick may be caused by a variety of reasons, but there are two common ones.
contiluoFirst, peop
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contiluoHere are two effect ways to keep you from getting sick.
Here are two effective ways to keep you from getting sick.
contiluoFor one way, eating right.
Firstly, eating right.
contiluoFor another way,

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