Gerunds

Question

Greetings and salutations,I have a question about the use of gerunds. A few weeks ago I received some feedback on my writing and a recurring point of critique seemed to be the use of gerunds.So my question is, does he have a point in the following sentences or is he just a spelling nazi?The coughing was fierce and relentless, yet was I finally converging with intoxication? For this one I can only think up one alternative that has the same meaning which is:I was coughing fiercely and relentlessly, yet was I finally converging with intoxication?Yet to me, this doesn't seem to be better.A few more examples are:When I was eight years old I could still relativize the ridiculing and contempt.All at once, walking shifted towards being overly fatiguing.Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.Thanks.

Fivejedjon · Accepted Answer

Heralding HereticI have a question about the use of gerunds. A few weeks ago I received some feedback on my writing and a recurring point of critique seemed to be the use of gerunds.So my question is, does he have a point in the following sentences or is he just a spelling ****?

It might help us if you let us know what points 'he' made.

I am afraid my point is that none of the sentences is natural English. They need complete recasting, so a discussion of the gerunds is rather pointless.

Heralding Heretic · Answer

Thank you for the reply. Could you please elaborate on why the sentences do not sound like natural English and how you would recast them?

Thanks.

Fivejedjon · Answer

The coughing was fierce and relentless, yet was I finally converging with intoxication.

The idea of 'converging with intoxication' seems to me to be an over-elaborate way of saying that you were getting drunk. I think that converging has an idea of two things moving to meet, and is not entirely appropriate for a person approaching a state. Yet often denotes some form of contrast; I don't see how it fits here.

When I was eight years old I could still relativize the ridiculing and contempt.

If you mean that you could learn to live with these two things, or keep a sense of proportion about their effect on the rest of your life, then the verb relativize does not work for me. As you have used the noun contempt, I think the noun ridicule would be more appropriate than the gerund.

All at once, walking shifted towards being overly fatiguing.

I suppose this one is grammatically and semantically, but the three -ing forms in one sentence make it rather clunky.

Heralding Heretic · Answer

Thank you for the elaborate response.

First of all I understand the problem you have with converging on intoxication. I think I do this sort of things quite often in my writing. I know that if one takes it literally it doesn't make sense, but I use combinations like that to add a little lightness and humor to contexts so that they do not get overly serious.

I get your problem with yet in the sentence. There is a contrast, but it gets lost without any context.

I thought that relativize is more or less a straight forward synonym of put into perspective, or am I wrong? In my native language it is, so maybe i wrongly assumed it to be in English too.

Yes, you are right. Ridicule is a better fit, thank you.

You have an other good point with the last sentence. Do you think the following is OK, or do Two -ing forms in one sentence still feel clunky to you?

All at once, walking became overly fatiguing.

Thanks for the help.

Fivejedjon · Answer

Heralding Heretic I think I do this sort of things quite often in my writing. I know that if one takes it literally it doesn't make sense, but I use combinations like that to add a little lightness and humor to contexts so that they do not get overly serious.

That's a valid point. I was reacting to a sentence out of context.

Heralding HereticI thought that relativize is more or less a straight forward synonym of put into perspective, or am I wrong? In my native language it is, so maybe i wrongly assumed it to be in English too.

It was so unfamiliar to me that I had to check its existence in a dictionary. It just sounds wrong to me. It could be that I am simply out of touch on this - my wife does suggest at times that I am converging with senility. Let's see what others say.

Heralding HereticAll at once, walking became overly fatiguing.

That's much better - in my opinion.

Heralding Heretic · Answer

No I think that you are right about relativize. I did some research in the mean time. It is pretty rare and does not have the exact same meaning as putting perspective. I have changed it. I think that I just assumed that it had the same meaning as in Dutch 'relativeren' has. Thanks for pointing it out. I would have never found that error myself.

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