gerund

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Is this sentence right?Having Bergamo been well connected to Milan by train since 1857, and being later served by the Seriana railway from 1884, this valley met all the requirements for the establishment of a profitable textile industry: cheap abundant labour, hydromechanic or hydroelectric energy and good connections by train or even by road. Thanks

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

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There is a minor change required:

(It's principal city ) Bergamo having been well connected to Milan by train since 1857, and being later served by the Seriana railway from 1884, this valley met all the requirements for the establishment of a profitable textile industry: cheap abundant labour, hydromechanic or hydroelectric energy and good connections by train or even by road.

Dimsumexpress · Answer

Andrea Locati Having Bergamo been well connected to Milan by train since 1857, and being later served by the Seriana railway from 1884, this valley met all the requirements for the establishment of a profitable textile industry: cheap abundant labour, hydromechanic or hydroelectric energy and good connections by train or even by road. Thanks

My take: It is not a smooth sentence. That's just my opinion.
Questions: why two time period? If Bergamo Valley was already connected by train, why Seriana railway waited till 1884 to serve ? Does for the establishment mean mandates by local government?I think it doesn't need to be in the sentence and still make good sense. The whole underlined needs to be improved.

That's just my observations.

Andrea Locati · Answer

I've left behind the idea of the gerund, for which I'd opened this thread. Now, I've rephrased the sentence and ask for your opinion.

Val Seriana, which could count on a train connection between Bergamo and Milan that had existed since 1857, and later on its own railway from 1884, met the basic requirement for the establishment of a profitable textile industry: good trasport facilities. These were not just by train but also by road, if you think that the second motorway to be built in Italy was from Bergamo to Milan, in 1927. Besides, the availablily of cheap labour and hydromechanic or hydroelectric energy were other determining factors.

I've used establishment to mean set up, the start of the industry that didn't exist earlier. Is it not the right word?

Whole article http://www.licinio.altervista.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=776:valle-seriana-by-bike&catid=56:outings.

Dimsumexpress · Answer

Andrea Locati,
I am still seeing problems with the revision.

Andrea LocatiVal Seriana, which could count on a train connection between Bergamo and Milan that had existed since 1857, and later on its own railway from 1884, met the basic requirement for the establishment of a profitable textile industry: good trasport facilities. These were not just by train but also by road, if you think that the second motorway to be built in Italy was from Bergamo to Milan, in 1927. Besides, the availablily of cheap labour and hydromechanic or hydroelectric energy were other determining factors.

Val Seriana, is the company that ran the railways, correct? What does count on mean here? You have " which" referring to Val Seriana, and a relative pronoun "that" in the same clause, what does "that" refers to? Bergamo? Sorry, I think the first half of the revision got more confusing.

Fivejedjon · Answer

AlpheccaStars(It's principal city )

Typo. The apostrophe slipped in.

Fivejedjon · Answer

dimsumexpressThe whole underlined needs to be improved.

How?

AlpheccaStars · Answer

fivejedjon AlpheccaStars(It's principal city )Typo. The apostrophe slipped in.

OOPS ...

Of course - its principal city.

Dimsumexpress · Answer

fivejedjon dimsumexpressThe whole underlined needs to be improved.How?

this valley met all the requirements for the establishment of a profitable textile industry: cheap abundant labour, hydromechanic or hydroelectric energy and good connections by train or even by road.

I didn't want to do a make-over on the original, that was the reason I didn't offer.

If I must rewrite it based on the understanding I have on this passage, I would say this:

This (Bergamo) valley had all the elements which would make any industry profitable, as demonstrated in its well-known textile industry: Plenty of cheap labor, availability of hydroelectric energy and a well established rail system as well as trucking system.....

AlpheccaStars · Answer

How about a combination of your two versions?

Its principal city Bergamo having been well connected to Milan by train since 1857, and served by the Seriana railway from 1884, Val Seriana met all the requirements for the establishment of a profitable textile industry: cheap abundant labour, availability of hydroelectric energy and good transportation systems.

Andrea Locati · Answer

Val Seriana is a place, not a company. Maybe it's clearer translated into Seriana Valley.

The Seriana Valley, which could rely on a train connection between Bergamo and Milan since 1857, and later on its own railway from 1884, met the basic requirement for the establishment of a profitable textile industry: good trasport facilities. These were not just by train but also by road, if you think that the second motorway to be built in Italy was from Bergamo to Milan, in 1927. Besides, the availablily of cheap labour and hydromechanic or hydroelectric energy were other determining factors.

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