0
Yohooo8 Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Gammar and sentence structures issue, please help!
This is my rencent cover letter.
Dear Recruiter / hiring maneger
I would like to sincerely ask you to provide me an opportunity in your company where my skills and knowledge can be use and expend. I was born in China and grown up in China. I came here when I was 15 years old without speaking a single world of English. I have been walked thou many difficulties and coves to finish the final line. My first computer 486 was gifted from my parents leaded me to the road of technical. I have decided to choose computer related major in the University of San Francisco. , I learned many great theories of technologies in SFSU while I have also worked as a technical support for school part time. I have also 3 years of experiences working with the companies, “CTS, inc” and “ACI, inc”. I have adopted great relationships with the employers. All reference letters are available upon requests.
I have spent thousands of time in front the computer day by day. My interests in computer are much wised. I like to create webpage, I like windows programming in visual c++. I like to play around with the networking, and also I like to manage and configs windows servers. I also like to teach people as I have 3 individual students from age 10-65.
Although certification is a must for the IT personals, however, I don’t really believe certifications since I have met people who holds numbers of them but working as a person who had never done IT before. I have been go thru both MCSE and A+ tests before and I passed. I am now certified as a System Engineer from Microsoft. But I feel like I didn’t learn much from the Certifications tests. What I have real learned from was the hand on experiences the hours I spent in front of the computers.
I have much confidence to apply this job you have offering now, because I believe nothing is impossible if you know what are you doing and I believe that this is what I want to do for tomorrow in the future in your company.
Dear Recruiter / hiring maneger
I would like to sincerely ask you to provide me an opportunity in your company where my skills and knowledge can be use and expend. I was born in China and grown up in China. I came here when I was 15 years old without speaking a single world of English. I have been walked thou many difficulties and coves to finish the final line. My first computer 486 was gifted from my parents leaded me to the road of technical. I have decided to choose computer related major in the University of San Francisco. , I learned many great theories of technologies in SFSU while I have also worked as a technical support for school part time. I have also 3 years of experiences working with the companies, “CTS, inc” and “ACI, inc”. I have adopted great relationships with the employers. All reference letters are available upon requests.
I have spent thousands of time in front the computer day by day. My interests in computer are much wised. I like to create webpage, I like windows programming in visual c++. I like to play around with the networking, and also I like to manage and configs windows servers. I also like to teach people as I have 3 individual students from age 10-65.
Although certification is a must for the IT personals, however, I don’t really believe certifications since I have met people who holds numbers of them but working as a person who had never done IT before. I have been go thru both MCSE and A+ tests before and I passed. I am now certified as a System Engineer from Microsoft. But I feel like I didn’t learn much from the Certifications tests. What I have real learned from was the hand on experiences the hours I spent in front of the computers.
I have much confidence to apply this job you have offering now, because I believe nothing is impossible if you know what are you doing and I believe that this is what I want to do for tomorrow in the future in your company.
Top answer
yohooo8, Your letter likely won't work well. Your letter seems to be asking for help as opposed to saying what you can do for them. Rather than discussing all the adversities and how hard it has been, turn those adversities into strengths.
- yohooo8, Your letter likely won't work well.
- Your letter seems to be asking for help as opposed to saying what you can do for them.
- Rather than discussing all the adversities and how hard it has been, turn those adversities into strengths.
- I came to the US at teh age of 15, and since then I have become fluent in English and completed a Computing degree from the University of San Francisco.
- blah blah blah.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
5 Answers
0
yohooo8,
Your letter likely won't work well. Your letter seems to be asking for help as opposed to saying what you can do for them.
Rather than discussing all the adversities and how hard it has been, turn those adversities into strengths.
I came to the US at teh age of 15, and since then I have become fluent in English and completed a Computing degree from the Univ
Your letter likely won't work well. Your letter seems to be asking for help as opposed to saying what you can do for them.
Rather than discussing all the adversities and how hard it has been, turn those adversities into strengths.
I came to the US at teh age of 15, and since then I have become fluent in English and completed a Computing degree from the Univ
00
Dear Recruiter
A little about me: I'm an expert in networking, computer configuration and troubleshooting, server maintenance, as well as web production. I can do it all from desktop support to build up a windows server. I have 7+ years of computer experience, and 4 years of professional experience. And if I don't already know how to do it I can figure it out quickly. I live in San Francisc
A little about me: I'm an expert in networking, computer configuration and troubleshooting, server maintenance, as well as web production. I can do it all from desktop support to build up a windows server. I have 7+ years of computer experience, and 4 years of professional experience. And if I don't already know how to do it I can figure it out quickly. I live in San Francisc
00
Dear Recruiter: (get the name)
I am an expert in networking, computer configuration and troubleshooting, server maintenance, as well as web production. I have a wide range of computer skills from providing effective desktop support to building up a windows server. Moreover, I am a MCSE certified system engineer as well as an A+ certified Computer Technician. With over 7 years of comp
I am an expert in networking, computer configuration and troubleshooting, server maintenance, as well as web production. I have a wide range of computer skills from providing effective desktop support to building up a windows server. Moreover, I am a MCSE certified system engineer as well as an A+ certified Computer Technician. With over 7 years of comp
00
0
Please note my late edits. Look at the bold portion of my previous answer.
0
Related Questions