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Contiluo Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Gain a lot of ideas
Is the following paragraph acceptable? Woluld anyone be kind enough to check it for me?
They gave us a cordial greeting, and we were impressed by the enthusiasm and efficiency of their teamwork. I highly appreciated Jason’s zeal and devotion for his work. He patiently illustrated the complicated process of publishing a magazine and the making of a CD-ROM, so that we gained a lot of useful basic ideas of publishing from this trip.
They gave us a cordial greeting, and we were impressed by the enthusiasm and efficiency of their teamwork. I highly appreciated Jason’s zeal and devotion for his work. He patiently illustrated the complicated process of publishing a magazine and the making of a CD-ROM, so that we gained a lot of useful basic ideas of publishing from this trip.
Top answer
How about: He patiently gave us valuable insight on how the magazine publishing and CD-ROM making process works . It's a tad more clear and concise.
- How about: He patiently gave us valuable insight on how the magazine publishing and CD-ROM making process works .
- It's a tad more clear and concise.
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2 Answers
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How about:
He patiently gave us valuable insight on how the magazine publishing and CD-ROM making process works.
It's a tad more clear and concise.
He patiently gave us valuable insight on how the magazine publishing and CD-ROM making process works.
It's a tad more clear and concise.
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I rewrote the paragraph as written. Is it acceptable?
They gave us a cordial greeting, and we were impressed by the enthusiasm and efficiency of their teamwork. I highly appreciated Jason’s zeal and devotion for his work. He patiently gave us valuable insight on how the magazine publishing and CD-ROM making process works, so that we gained a lot of useful basic ideas of publishi
They gave us a cordial greeting, and we were impressed by the enthusiasm and efficiency of their teamwork. I highly appreciated Jason’s zeal and devotion for his work. He patiently gave us valuable insight on how the magazine publishing and CD-ROM making process works, so that we gained a lot of useful basic ideas of publishi
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