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Maj Posted 22 years ago
Jokes, Puzzles & Riddles
Funny sentences
-On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
-In a cementery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
-Dry cleaner's Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULT.
-Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
-A laundry room in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Hope you enjoy them.
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
-In a cementery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
-Dry cleaner's Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULT.
-Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.
-A laundry room in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
Hope you enjoy them.
Top answer
Some more: -Airline office: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS -An advertisement by a Hong kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS -hotel in Japan: COOLS AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF. -On an Athi River Highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. hope you enjoy them.
- Some more: -Airline office: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS -An advertisement by a Hong kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS -hotel in Japan: COOLS AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
- -On an Athi River Highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
- hope you enjoy them.
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51 Answers
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Some more:
-Airline office:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
-An advertisement by a Hong kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS
-hotel in Japan:
COOLS AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
-On an Athi River Highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER W
-Airline office:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
-An advertisement by a Hong kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS
-hotel in Japan:
COOLS AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.
-On an Athi River Highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER W
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These are great Maj!!
I have a City Guide book for my hometown in Japan. The local City Hall produced it, and it is a really great effort in helping English speakers to feel at home here (thanks). There are a couple of amusing suggestions in the book;
DISASTERS
~
2) Prevention of fire
*DO NOT TOSS A CIGARETTE AND SMOKE IN BED. (OK, I'll find something else to toss,
I have a City Guide book for my hometown in Japan. The local City Hall produced it, and it is a really great effort in helping English speakers to feel at home here (thanks). There are a couple of amusing suggestions in the book;
DISASTERS
~
2) Prevention of fire
*DO NOT TOSS A CIGARETTE AND SMOKE IN BED. (OK, I'll find something else to toss,
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-From the " Soviet Weekly":
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCUPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS.
-Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
-A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLA
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCUPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS.
-Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
-A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLA
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These are great Maj!!
P.S. I once did a disgusting behaviour in the shower, but there was no sign there so I got away with it.
P.S. I once did a disgusting behaviour in the shower, but there was no sign there so I got away with it.
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-A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
-Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
-Hotel Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMERMAID.
-On the menu of a Swiss restaura
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
-Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.
-Hotel Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMERMAID.
-On the menu of a Swiss restaura
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I've got a sentence both funny and contradictory.
"Except" can't be put as the first word of the sentence.
(It's one of the grammar laws.)
"Except" can't be put as the first word of the sentence.
(It's one of the grammar laws.)
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my mother likes omelettes so go cry me a river! my opinion of this dog is public.
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Domestics arrival (signboard in Copenhagen Airport; it should have been Domestic arrivals)
It is free to wash yours hands, but use of the wash for other purposes 5 Dkr.
(Notice in the Ladies room at the Main Train Station in Copenhagen. Recourse to the Danish sign informed me that they meant handwash basin not laundry.)
It is free to wash yours hands, but use of the wash for other purposes 5 Dkr.
(Notice in the Ladies room at the Main Train Station in Copenhagen. Recourse to the Danish sign informed me that they meant handwash basin not laundry.)
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Somewhat related, I saw a "NON SMOKING" (should have been NO SMOKING) sign on a gas pump while traveling through Virginia. I chose to get my gas at that pump!!
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