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Guest Posted 21 years ago
Grammar
French girl needs help !!!!
hello ! I'm french and I need some help.
here is an essay I have to do for monday. could you correct it ? thank you very much !!!!
merci beaucoup !!!
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Relate a nightmare you had.
The story I am going to relate is about a nightmare I had when I was 7.
It takes place during the night, around midnight, in a shadowy and deserted grave-yard. The weather is stormy and I can see several flashes of lightening coming across the misty sky. I am walking quietly but I’m very anguished. I feel that something terrible is going to happen… There are some strange and creepy noises: sturdy sounds of footsteps, rustles of autumn leaves, the moaning of the wind, clap of thunder and suddenly…a very strong howl. I want to run, however my legs are paralyzed and the intriguing creature is bringing nearer… All of a sudden, my sister appears. She looks odd, unbalanced and very unusual. I am very disturbed owing to her sparkling eyes. She takes my hand and brings me into a bleak wood with gloomy high trees. Then I see impressive shadows coming from behind the trees: it is all my family… next, they all turn into werewolves. I scream but no sounds leave my mouth. They take me on a hill just in front of a weird and isolated mansion. When we arrive they start surrounding me so that they can bite me. They all look at me in a very insane way with their shiny eyes. They come closer and closer… and suddenly… I wake up!
In this nightmare, I felt a feeling of fear and anxiety and it was very unpleasant. I think that I made this dream because one of my worst fears is to lose my family. Consequently I had been quite traumatized after this dream…
here is an essay I have to do for monday. could you correct it ? thank you very much !!!!
merci beaucoup !!!
______________________________________________________________________
Relate a nightmare you had.
The story I am going to relate is about a nightmare I had when I was 7.
It takes place during the night, around midnight, in a shadowy and deserted grave-yard. The weather is stormy and I can see several flashes of lightening coming across the misty sky. I am walking quietly but I’m very anguished. I feel that something terrible is going to happen… There are some strange and creepy noises: sturdy sounds of footsteps, rustles of autumn leaves, the moaning of the wind, clap of thunder and suddenly…a very strong howl. I want to run, however my legs are paralyzed and the intriguing creature is bringing nearer… All of a sudden, my sister appears. She looks odd, unbalanced and very unusual. I am very disturbed owing to her sparkling eyes. She takes my hand and brings me into a bleak wood with gloomy high trees. Then I see impressive shadows coming from behind the trees: it is all my family… next, they all turn into werewolves. I scream but no sounds leave my mouth. They take me on a hill just in front of a weird and isolated mansion. When we arrive they start surrounding me so that they can bite me. They all look at me in a very insane way with their shiny eyes. They come closer and closer… and suddenly… I wake up!
In this nightmare, I felt a feeling of fear and anxiety and it was very unpleasant. I think that I made this dream because one of my worst fears is to lose my family. Consequently I had been quite traumatized after this dream…
Top answer
Hi Guest, I have made a few minor alterations to your excellent story, so that it reads a little better in English. the adjectives you chose were very good, but I wonder if the ones I've substituted give more mystery to your story. Please look them up so that you are satisfied with their meaning.
- Hi Guest, I have made a few minor alterations to your excellent story, so that it reads a little better in English.
- the adjectives you chose were very good, but I wonder if the ones I've substituted give more mystery to your story.
- Please look them up so that you are satisfied with their meaning.
- I have also altered the word order of "sturdy sound of footsteps" - this should be "sound of sturdy footsteps" because it is the footsteps which are sturdy, not the sound.
- In English, we don't "make a dream", we "have a dream", so I have altered that too.
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2 Answers
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Hi Guest,
I have made a few minor alterations to your excellent story, so that it reads a little better in English. the adjectives you chose were very good, but I wonder if the ones I've substituted give more mystery to your story. Please look them up so that you are satisfied with their meaning.
I have also altered the word order of "sturdy sound of footsteps" - this should be
I have made a few minor alterations to your excellent story, so that it reads a little better in English. the adjectives you chose were very good, but I wonder if the ones I've substituted give more mystery to your story. Please look them up so that you are satisfied with their meaning.
I have also altered the word order of "sturdy sound of footsteps" - this should be
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Hello Guest, why not register?
Your questions will then appear on the forum as soon as you ask them.
Also, of course, you would then have the option of choosing a memorable screen name. (If you're quick, you may find that FrenchGirlNeedsHelp is still available...)
MrP
Your questions will then appear on the forum as soon as you ask them.
Also, of course, you would then have the option of choosing a memorable screen name. (If you're quick, you may find that FrenchGirlNeedsHelp is still available...)
MrP
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