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Camaranti Posted 16 years ago
Letter Writing
Formal letter, need help
Hello everybody!
Would anybody help me with this letter, please? We received a letter accepting an invitation. This is the answer my boss is proposing, but it doesn't sound natural to me. Please help!
______________________________________________________________
"Dear Ms. XX:
I am Captain XXXX, Head of the International Affairs Department of [XXXX], [country].
We recently received a thoughtful and kind letter from Mr. YYYYY, Chief Executive of the XXXX Service of Japan accepting the invitation extended by General XXXXXX, Director General of XXXXXXXXX, to visit our country in order to share experiences and points of view regarding both our services, thus further strengthening the already strong bonds of mutual cooperation between us.
Considering that Mr. YYYYY has a possible window for his visit in June, I would suggest to consider the weeks between 3 and 7 or 24 to 28 as posible visiting dates. Certainly, the final dates will be coordinated in advance and directly with you.
Yours Sincerely,
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Would anybody help me with this letter, please? We received a letter accepting an invitation. This is the answer my boss is proposing, but it doesn't sound natural to me. Please help!
______________________________________________________________
"Dear Ms. XX:
I am Captain XXXX, Head of the International Affairs Department of [XXXX], [country].
We recently received a thoughtful and kind letter from Mr. YYYYY, Chief Executive of the XXXX Service of Japan accepting the invitation extended by General XXXXXX, Director General of XXXXXXXXX, to visit our country in order to share experiences and points of view regarding both our services, thus further strengthening the already strong bonds of mutual cooperation between us.
Considering that Mr. YYYYY has a possible window for his visit in June, I would suggest to consider the weeks between 3 and 7 or 24 to 28 as posible visiting dates. Certainly, the final dates will be coordinated in advance and directly with you.
Yours Sincerely,
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Top answer
This is a very formal reply, but not wrong on that account. It depends upon the occasion. However, I would make a few changes to improve its readability.
- This is a very formal reply, but not wrong on that account.
- It depends upon the occasion.
- However, I would make a few changes to improve its readability.
- First, remove the "I am Captain" line.
- That information should go at the close.
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1 Answers
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This is a very formal reply, but not wrong on that account. It depends upon the occasion. However, I would make a few changes to improve its readability. First, remove the "I am Captain" line. That information should go at the close. Second, break up the longer sentences. I would also rearrange some of the word order. Finally, I would add a closing line. The revised letter follows.
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