Formal correct supercalifragilisticexpialidocious way to state this?

Question

Hallo all,I would be very grateful for suggestions on the/a correct way to describe the following in my script:Toward the end of a scene, piano music starts playing while a character is speaking. The piano is not actually in the room with him and the character can't hear the music, it's just part of a transition to the next scene. (In that next scene, the music will still be playing, but the piano and the pianist will be present along with the character.)Thanks for any illumination!-marlup

Usenet · Accepted Answer

[nq:1]Hallo all, I would be very grateful for suggestions on the/a correct way to describe the following in my script: ... but the piano and the pianist will be present along with the character.) Thanks for any illumination! -marlup[/nq]
First question: Is describing this transition in your script necessary to telling the story? I ask, because this type of transition is very common and really falls under the domain of the director and the editor unless it makes some kind of story point. If it doesn't, I wouldn't even mention it. Just slug the next scene and go.

Now, assuming that it does make some sort of story point, you might try something like this:

Joe takes a sip of his drink.
JOE
So, I walked into the Starlight
Lounge the other night, and this
guy was sitting at the piano,
playing "Misty" ...
Strains of "Misty" on a piano begin. (Or, you could say "We hear the strains of 'Misty' on a piano", if you don't care about violating the "never write 'we see' or 'we hear'" rule.)
JOE
... and it's my favorite song ...
INT. STARLIGHT LOUNGE - NIGHT
Joe stands near the door. He looks up, spies a piano player over in the corner, playing "Misty".
JOE (V.O.)
... so it immediately got my attention.
Joe approached the piano player.
etc. etc.

Just my 2c.
Gene

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Toward the end of a scene, piano music starts playing while a character is speaking. The piano is not actually ... music will still be playing, but the piano and the pianist will be present along with the character.)[/nq]
Hey Mar,
If you have accurately described what you desire, and if your statement "it's just part of a transition" is accurate, and that is the ONLY reason you desire it, then...
NOT YOUR JOB, MAN.
Sorry, not trying to be a smart ***, just trying to be truthful.

If your desire for a piano to be heard in a particular scene is not integral to the plot OR at the very least written about to portray a necessary mood or flavor to your tale, then it isn't your business to include it. That is the domain of the director and/or the film editor and/or the sound editor and/or anybody else except you. Your job is to tell the story, not edit a film.

That above rule applies to numerous things. It's not a writers job to worry about transitions, opening credits, camera angles, casting choices, et cetera. (Again, unless any of those things ARE integral to the story you are telling or necessary to create particular images or feelings to help tell your tale and seldom are things from the above list integral or necessary for those purposes.)
The major exception to the above would be if you KNOW you will be directing the film yourself. Then you can pretty much do whatever you wish, and you can also write it however you wish you could even write it in ancient hieroglyphs then because you are the guy who it's being written for.
Sorry if I haven't been helpful to your desires, but I have been honest to the situation assuming you conveyed the situation as it truly is. (And that I wasn't a dunderhead and misread your intent.)
Good luck with the writing.
Dean

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Hey Mar, If you have accurately described what you desire, blah-blah-blah...[/nq]
Sorry Mar (and Gene) I should have checked for new messages before I sent mine off. Gene had already covered it and you, Mar, had already explained that it WAS integral to the story.

So yes, in that case, just simple, direct, descriptive English is your best best.
It could go something like:
While Bobby continues his rant, haunting piano chords underscore his words.
BOBBY
I mean it, Sue, As *** is
my witness, I'm going to
take this stray dog and
find his owner, or my name
isn't Bobby Rumplestiltskin!
SUE
Your name isn't Bobby Rumplestiltskin.
BOBBY
Whatever.
INT. JOHN'S HOUSE
The same piano chords continue, now louder, no longer in the background. A piano in this room in being played, and amazingly, it's being played by an upright golden retriever. A dog biscuit hangs loosely from one side of the canine's jowls as he accurately paws the keys.
Something like that, Mar. Good luck.
Dean

Formal correct supercalifragilisticexpialidocious way to state this?

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