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Odessa Dawn Posted 11 years ago
Letter Writing
"For a start, ..."?
(recipient's name,)
For a start, I admire and acknowledge you for entitled to giving, voluntary helping others, looking after them, felt compassion and do whatever you could to help. I would say that performing such considerable sacrifices are pleasing to God. In addition, to get ahead in life, Adam Grant once said, "Giving is the secret to getting ahead."
The point is that, a student by name/named …, has been transferred to your school the other day. I know him personally and his parents' income is low and he is eligible for free meals. Please help him with what you can. If you happen to know some philanthropists at your school, let them serve him free, or at reduced prices/significant discount meals. Besides, please register him, if any, in a program for those in need of financial help.
May God Almighty surround you with loving care, always and forever.
Please help me with this letter to make it near natives.
For a start, I admire and acknowledge you for entitled to giving, voluntary helping others, looking after them, felt compassion and do whatever you could to help. I would say that performing such considerable sacrifices are pleasing to God. In addition, to get ahead in life, Adam Grant once said, "Giving is the secret to getting ahead."
The point is that, a student by name/named …, has been transferred to your school the other day. I know him personally and his parents' income is low and he is eligible for free meals. Please help him with what you can. If you happen to know some philanthropists at your school, let them serve him free, or at reduced prices/significant discount meals. Besides, please register him, if any, in a program for those in need of financial help.
May God Almighty surround you with loving care, always and forever.
Please help me with this letter to make it near natives.
Top answer
Odessa Dawn Please help me with this letter to make it near natives. It is nowhere near native. I have already edited several similar letters of yours, eliminating the hyperbole.
- Odessa Dawn Please help me with this letter to make it near natives.
- It is nowhere near native.
- I have already edited several similar letters of yours, eliminating the hyperbole.
- Please try to edit this one yourself down to about half its length and then re-post it here.
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3 Answers
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Odessa DawnPlease help me with this letter to make it near natives.It is nowhere near native. I have already edited several similar letters of yours, eliminating the hyperbole. Please try to edit this one yourself down to about half its length and then re-post it here.
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Thank you, MM. Please see:
(recipient's name,)
I acknowledge you for entitled to giving, voluntary helping others. Performing such considerable sacrifices are pleasing to ***. And to get ahead in life, Adam Grant once said, "Giving is the secret to getting ahead." A student named …, has been transferred to your school, and his parents' income is low. So he is eligible for free m
(recipient's name,)
I acknowledge you for entitled to giving, voluntary helping others. Performing such considerable sacrifices are pleasing to ***. And to get ahead in life, Adam Grant once said, "Giving is the secret to getting ahead." A student named …, has been transferred to your school, and his parents' income is low. So he is eligible for free m
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That's MUCH better, but it still needs more whittling to be native:
Dear Mr [recipient's surname],
I know that you are highly respected for helping others. Such considerable sacrifices are pleasing to ***. Adam Grant once said, "Giving is the secret to getting ahead" in life.
A student named [full name] has been transferred to your school. I know him pe
Dear Mr [recipient's surname],
I know that you are highly respected for helping others. Such considerable sacrifices are pleasing to ***. Adam Grant once said, "Giving is the secret to getting ahead" in life.
A student named [full name] has been transferred to your school. I know him pe
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