Five year phase-in plan for "EuroEnglish"

0 The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby02br
00English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which02br
00was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's02br
00government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and02br
00has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".02br
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00 In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will02br
00make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour02br
00of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less02br
00letter.02br
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00 There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the02br
00troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like02br
00"fotograf" 20% shorter.02br
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00 In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be02br
00expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.02br
00Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always02br
00ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of02br
00the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.02br
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00 By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"02br
00with "z" and "w" with "v".02br
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00 During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords02br
00kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer02br
00kombinations of leters. After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a realy sensibl02br
00riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it02br
00ezi to understand each ozer02br
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00 ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!02br
02br
00But all jokes have part of truth - this variant of english like me better 0-