Fine-tuning my Statement of Purpose

Please, let me know of any points that sound confuse, or can be somehow enhanced. Thanks in advance.

Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to enroll in the [Course I’m applying] because it will fulfill my interests in Project Management and Business Strategy, allowing me to take management positions in a variety of businesses. Also, it would be an opportunity to meet the fascinating Country A and Country B, which I consider two extraordinary places to visit, due to historical aspects.

Firstly, I consider this course the key to the next step of my career. I have completed 28 months of internships in companies such as Company A and B, and after graduation I have been working as an IT consultant, being the main professional for several projects, which developed my skills to work under little supervision. As a complement to my strong IT background, I have been introduced to several aspects of business, such as Cost Management. Now I am looking forward to a more challenging opportunity, in which I can develop other skills, such as planning, leadership and strategic thinking.

In my current job, one of the tools I am certified to work with is used to develop Balanced Scored Cards and Strategic Maps, which are tightly related to business contexts. I have also been assigned to write commercial proposals and make presentations, and I have one major duty related to Enterprise Project Management, consisting of software implementation and maintenance, as well as providing training. This variety of activities fostered my abilities to manage simultaneous and non-related tasks, and had extended my vision beyond pure technical concepts.

In order to support the activities related to knowledge record and transmission and also due to personal interests I did a Knowledge Management course. This course taught me how to effectively take advantage of technology, as well as to consider that personal interaction plays a major part in knowledge acquisition. I also consider myself an entrepreneur, because I like to work on an idea to turn it into reality. One example of this is a programming course, which I conceived and conducted. In this occasion, I took care of advertisement, course materials, costs and partnerships. I am very proud of this successful entrepreneurship endeavor, which gave me a broader perspective on the complexities of business management. Therefore, I believe I have enough background to derive the most from [Course I’m applying] and contribute with my experiences to the diversity of class environment.

Along with my work experience, my academic history also entitles me to succeed in a demanding master degree. I was admitted to University of Somewhere in the n^th position (m candidates), and in order to start my Engineer studies, I had to move to [My Country]’s biggest city, when I was 17 years old. This was assuredly a valuable experience, that taught me not only how to be responsible and independent, but also how to be flexible and adapt to different environments.

In terms of extra-curricular activities, I am a member and manager of a musical trio, being responsible for scheduling our performances and handling the financial aspects, such as invoices, taxes and dividends of our performance fees. Playing in a group demands high levels of discipline and synergy, and it is essentially a team work. Thus, besides the entertainment side, it is an activity that contributes to my main career as well.

Based on the program description and its broad and gainful content, I would finish [Course I’m applying] being ready for a managerial position, which I consider to be the next step of my career. Furthermore, it will solidify the basis to plan and start a business, which I intend to do after 10 years of management practice. I consider myself highly motivated and prepared to the burdens of studying in a different country, and I deem the entire cultural experience as valuable as the formal education I would receive.

Yours faithfully,