Few sentences in my cover letter

Question

Hi,I am writting a cover letter but not very confident with few sentences. But I dont know how to correct them. Could some one help me out please??                                                       ---------------1: Some of my pertinent expertise that could be directly supportive to my future assignments in companyXYZ are listed here:a:b:2: This position is of my greatest interest as I tjink it lets me to work exactly in the area for which I have both good experience and great passion. Moreover, a challenging and rapid progressing environment would certailny provide me the opportunities to deal with state of the art technologies and hence would be helpful in technical and personal development.                                                         -----------------I would be grateful if i find some suggestions and alternative words or phrases to make it more meanigfull and worth reading. /* Style Definitions */   table.MsoNormalTable  	{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";  	mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;  	mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;  	mso-style-noshow:yes;  	mso-style-priority:99;  	mso-style-qformat:yes;  	mso-style-parent:"";  	mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt;  	mso-para-margin-top:0cm;  	mso-para-margin-right:0cm;  	mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt;  	mso-para-margin-left:0cm;  	line-height:115%;  	mso-pagination:widow-orphan;  	font-size:11.0pt;  	font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";  	mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri;  	mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;  	mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";  	mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;  	mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;  	mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}

Ksusha · Accepted Answer

Hello!
I have a few suggestions that generally regard the grammar.
1. I think here you'd better use either the 'pertinent' or the 'that could be directly supportive...', as theme both being attributive to the 'expertise' is tautology.
2. here I will rewrite the sentence correcting the mistakes: 'This position is of my greatest interest as it allows me to work exactly in an area for which I have both good experience and great passion. Moreover, a challenging and rapidly growing environment will certainly provide me with opportunities to deal with state-of-the-art technologies and hence will be helpfull in my technical (professional?) and personal development.
As of the style, I think you should avoide the 'I think...' or 'it seems that I...' in any personal statement or essay, as it by definition reflects your opinion.

Overall the letter seems good and meaningful, I don't know much of what HR-executives look for in the applicants' cover letters though,))

I hope I didn't miss anything and it helps you.

Good luck with your application and job hunting!

Ksenia

Bluesmoke · Answer

Greetings,
Thank you Ksenia for your great help and for wishes as well

. This is valuable offcourse.
Have nice time,
Amir

Few sentences in my cover letter

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