Feedback on IELTS writing task 2. Please!

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

It is suggested that adolescents should work in their spare time to benefit society. However, I strongly disagree with this view and regard this idea as counterproductive.

There are many reasons why work should not be made compulsory for teenagers. Firstly, the pressure from schools is heavy enough for students to bear. Students are often required to attend classes, do homework, or revise before exams, making going to school a demanding and time-consuming activity. Therefore, there is a high possibility that students will easily fall behind with their studies if they are given a full-time job. Secondly, it is morally wrong and unfair to force people, regardless of age, doing something against their will. Unless people work on a volunteer basis, workers may experience the feeling of resentment, which results in low productivity and bad performance.

Furthermore, I also believe that young people should be given chances to explore themselves first before joining the workforce. Parents and educators should encourage young people to use free time effectively by enjoying their hobbies, such as visiting places or doing sports. These leisure activities are not only attractive to young people but also equip them with valuable life skills and experiences and may help them define their career path later on. This is beneficial for both the individual and community as they are likely to become a passionate worker in the future. Teenage years should be enjoyable because the youth have many years of working ahead of them.

In conclusion, although some work can be done in teenager’s free time, it is more pragmatic to let young people decide what they want to do during their free time.