Feedback on IELTS writing task 2

task 2

In the last seventy years we have seen a great improvement in life expectancy in many parts of the world due to the state-of-art technology available. However, bad habits are threatening many achievements of the human being related to public health. For this reason, some hypotheses have been formulated.

Some people state that public health can be improved, increasing the number of sport facilities. Nowadays, children and teenagers prefer to lay in bed, eating junk food rather than being involved in social activities. This sedentary lifestyle leads to an increase of diseases such as obesity and diabetes which have a great monetary impact for public health as well as for the life expectancy of people.

On the other hand, people affirm that is not sufficient to increase the number of sport facilities to improve the quality of the healthcare system since the effect would be minimal. In particular, the money which would be used to build these new facilities could be reinvested in order to promote new assumptions or to fund research and development in different fields of medicine.

I am of the opinion that sport facilities can be a good tool in order to fight social problems such as obesity and promote a healthy lifestyle. However, this is not enough to reach this objective. In fact, some campaigns promoting sport activities in school as well as information regarding diseases deriving from sedentary lifestyle and a wrong diet, could be effective against these problems. Nevertheless, investments should also be made in the healthcare system of each state which demonstrated to be weak and unprepared against some shocks like the Covid-19 pandemic.

thank you in advance!