Feedback on five paragraph essay

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Hi everyone!I am preparing to a test I am going to have soon, and have therefore written a short five paragraph essay. However, without any feedback I won't imporove my writing. Therefore I would be incredibly thankful you you guys could take a few minutes to read it and give me some feedback both in the matter of language as well as the content.I will put a link to the text down bellow, it's in Google Drive, so you could comment and editate directly in the document if you want.Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_jEVSwTFtiwBQOMHyoWtnWhAT-1E-LeAAz75KLa6DvA/edit?usp=sharing Thanks in advance!

Teechr · Accepted Answer

A Good Life

~~The fact~~ It is generally accepted that people around the world live completely different lives. ~~is well known.~~ Aspects that contribute to these differences could, among other things, be of a geographical ~~, and~~ or an economic nature. ~~inequalities.~~ Moreover, the definition of a good life is completely of a subjective character. Hence, my ~~image~~ idea of a good life probably differs from other people's. ~~one with health issues.~~ This brings me on to the question: what is important to people, in general, in order to live a good life? What will be important for future generations?

First and foremost, I define a good life as a life you really enjoy and love. It’s not only the economic aspect that counts, which seems to be the case in many industrial countries. Instead, I think aspects such as ~~the~~ well-being and safety are more essential. Nowadays, many people are completely obsessed with having the highest salary or a luxury car. However, I am not trying to say that people ~~shall~~ should not chase their dreams of, for instance, buying a nice car, of course not. Instead, I think people should think about the poor and those less wealthy, ~~people, the~~ as well as people who can’t afford food or even water. I think it’s clear by now that we can define “a good life” in dozens of different ways, which means that one’s definition of “a good life” is completely based on his or her background and upbringing. ~~upraising.~~ The conclusion we can draw here is ~~hence~~ that there isn’t just one definition of what a good life actually is.

The fact that it’s hard to define “a good life” is ~~probably crystal~~ clear. ~~by now.~~ However, I think that there are some key aspects that are essential for everyone, no matter how rich or poor ~~you~~ they are, no matter where ~~you~~ they live and no matter how old ~~you~~ they are. First of all, I believe that safety is ~~downright~~ very important in order to be able to enjoy life. If you do feel unsafe, you will as a consequence feel ~~limited~~ unsettled and worried. In a situation like this, having fun would probably be the last thing you would think about. Secondly, ~~the~~ emotional stability ~~aspect~~ is also ~~significant~~ necessary in order to enjoy life. I really believe that every single human being needs to feel be loved and cared about. In the end, we are all social creatures with feelings and emotions.

Furthermore, I think that the definition of a good life will change over time, as it has always done. ~~changed compared to what it was about 400 years ago.~~ The environmental issues we face today will definitely affect our concept of what a good life might be. ~~, for sure, have a huge impact on the definition. Increased water~~ Rising sea levels, ~~extreme~~ climate change and polluted air will probably be the norm ~~among~~ for future generations. No matter what car they buy or ~~what house~~ where they live, ~~in,~~ everyone will be affected by the ~~consequences~~ global environmental problems of today. ~~’s pollutions and carbon dioxide emissions. In a case like this,~~ Thus, the definition of a good life would surely be ~~solved~~ influenced by how well we deal with those environmental issues in future. ~~, which, sadly, seem to be far beyond today’s definition of a good life.~~

So what is important to people, in general, in order to live a good life? What will be important for future generations? As mentioned above, these questions are more or less impossible to give an exact answer to, since the definition of a good life is subjective and complex. ~~unclear.~~ However, I believe that ~~we should make a general definition and strive to make everyone live up to it. Moreover,~~ it’s ~~also~~ important to look at this subject from different points of views. For instance, what problems might our future generations ~~might~~ face, and how ~~it could change~~ would those affect the definition of a good life? ~~Or, why the image of a good life is so different depending on, for instance, where you live.~~

Sweden · Answer

Thanks, I can't even explain how thankful I am!

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