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Corona 9002 Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Feedback and Score for IELTS Writing Task 2

18 days left until my test. I will try my best to get band 6 in writing. Please help me to achieve it!

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Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?


In today's world obesity is a universal disease that has caused many health problems for people. There are many factors that lead to obesity and it is necessary for the world to find ways to deal with this dangerous problem.

One of the major causes of obesity is the sedentary lifestyle most people have nowadays. This is mainly because various type of entertainment such as TV programmes, video games has made people become addicted. Thus, they become lazier and lost the habit of doing physical activities like sports and gym. Another important factor is the widespread of junk food. Many people now prefer these harmful food which contains a great amount of fat rather than healthy ones such as vegetables and this habit will apparently lead to obesity. The negative effects of obesity are detrimental since it pose various health-related problems such as heart attack and diabetes which will severely damage their health. Moreover, obese people are likely to become victims of body shaming and it would be very difficult for them to live normally like others.

It is therefore necessary for governments to quickly address this problem and have effective solutions. First, they can limit the production of junk food and put on heavily taxes so that less people will consume them. Second, governments should encourage people to do physical activities by funding physical clubs such as sports, gym, yoga and encourage these clubs to offer special benefits so that people will find them more interesting and therefore participate in these clubs.

To sum up, obesity is a serious problem can affect people's live in many ways. However, there are certain solutions to combat this disease and improve public health such as reducing the consumption of unhealthy fast food and promote physical clubs.

  

Top answer

In today's world obesity is a pandemic universal disease (There is a good synonym for " major global epidemic" – "pandemic") " that has caused many health problems for people . ) it effectively. this dangerous problem .

  • In today's world obesity is a pandemic universal disease (There is a good synonym for " major global epidemic" – "pandemic") " that has caused many health problems for people .
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  • " So this entire next paragraph is off-topic.
  • You will get a low score for "task response".
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In today's world obesity is a pandemic universal disease (There is a good synonym for "major global epidemic" – "pandemic") "that has caused many health problems for people. There are many factors that lead to obesity and it is necessary paramount (A much high

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