Expanding a short screenplay

Question

Hi,I've got a screenplay that I've been working on for quite a while and have gone over it dozens of times, polishing it up, deleting useless dialogue, changing little things here and there, and feel like it tells the story I wanted to tell. Only trouble is it's only 70 pages.In order to submit it as a full movie, I need to add at least another30 pages, and I'm wondering how to expand it, now that I've cleaned itup. Do other people find themselves in the same spot as me?I'm hesitant to add more dialogue, because it might look like crap dialogue I cleaned up earlier. I thought about adding a new character early on in the story and building that up as one way to lengthen it, but haven't thought of an interesting way to do it.Any suggestions? What are some ways people around here use to lengthen up a story without making it look like useless additions?

Usenet · Accepted Answer

@reader2.panix.com:
[nq:1]I've got a screenplay that I've been working on for quite a while and have gone over it dozens of ... and there, and feel like it tells the story I wanted to tell. Only trouble is it's only 70 pages.[/nq]
This is something that should have been addressed long before you tried to polish it. Doing it now is going to be harder than it should have been because you may find you'll have to toss out entire chunks of it that you feel are pristine right now in order to make this work.

If your ending is too short for example and you can't stretch it, you may need an entirely new one. If you have multiple threads going (and you better) then just dropping in a few new scenes here and there won't look right and may skew continuity (something maybe you can't avoid, otherwise you'll end up with scenes in which nothing actually happens.)
[nq:1]In order to submit it as a full movie, I need to add at least another 30 pages, and I'm wondering how to expand it, now that I've cleaned it up. Do other people find themselves in the same spot as me?[/nq]
20 more will get you an hour and a half, I'd go for that.
[nq:1]I'm hesitant to add more dialogue, because it might look like **** dialogue I cleaned up earlier. I thought about ... and building that up as one way to lengthen it, but haven't thought of an interesting way to do it.[/nq]
Hard to tell without reading it, because this is a story issue. You need more story, not padding or more characters.
[nq:1]Any suggestions? What are some ways people around here use to lengthen up a story without making it look like useless additions?[/nq]
You lengthen it the same way you wrote what you've got so far; make up more stuff. Let's start with this what is your screenplay about? What are your theme(s)?
pwt

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Any suggestions? What are some ways people around here use to lengthen up a story without making it look like useless additions?[/nq]
The only way to add almost half again as much length to your story is to go back to the outline and start adding complications.

You can't possibly pad your way out of this hole. Seriously - for every page of your script, you need to add almost half a page. Forgetaboutit.

Go back to the outline, and figure out how to make you story fundamentally more complex.
-Ron

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]@reader2.panix.com:[/nq]
[nq:2]I've got a screenplay that I've been working on for ... wanted to tell. Only trouble is it's only 70 pages.[/nq]
[nq:1]This is something that should have been addressed long before you tried to polish it.[/nq]
How?
[nq:1]Doing it now is going to be harder than it should have been because you may find you'll have to toss out entire chunks of it that you feel are pristine right now in order to make this work.[/nq]
Is that common among most writers? Not being able to stop writing and having to put a leash on the story, lest it get too long before they decide to go back and polish things up along the way? During the polishing process I didn't really delete all that much. Maybe five pages at most.
[nq:1]If your ending is too short for example and you can't stretch it, you may need an entirely new one. ... and may skew continuity (something maybe you can't avoid, otherwise you'll end up with scenes in which nothing actually happens.)[/nq]
[nq:2]In order to submit it as a full movie, I ... other people find themselves in the same spot as me?[/nq]
[nq:1]20 more will get you an hour and a half, I'd go for that.[/nq]
Even for a theater movie instead of a TV movie? What's best for both, right now?
[nq:2]I'm hesitant to add more dialogue, because it might look ... but haven't thought of an interesting way to do it.[/nq]
[nq:1]Hard to tell without reading it, because this is a story issue. You need more story, not padding or more characters.[/nq]
Adding more story can add more characters, I guess. Isn't that what "bit parts" are all about?
[nq:2]Any suggestions? What are some ways people around here use to lengthen up a story without making it look like useless additions?[/nq]
[nq:1]You lengthen it the same way you wrote what you've got so far; make up more stuff.[/nq]
Yeah.

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]I've got a screenplay that I've been working on for quite a while and have gone over it dozens of ... What are some ways people around here use to lengthen up a story without making it look like useless additions?[/nq]
Is there a B-story already? If not, add one. Could it stand a C-story?

What would Borat do?

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Hi, I've got a screenplay that I've been working on for quite a while and have gone over it dozens ... What are some ways people around here use to lengthen up a story without making it look like useless additions?[/nq]
Besides padding it out to feature length, what are the other options open to this guy? Is there a market for spec one-off TV-dramas? Maybe the OP could amend it to a spec series pilot - what're the chances of marketing that?

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Maybe the OP could amend it to a spec series pilot - what're the chances of marketing that?[/nq]
Practically? Nil. Unless he's worked on series drama for several years.

That's something you earn in the trenches.

What would Borat do?

Usenet · Answer

There are probably as many ways to make your script longer as there are writers, but the first and most critical decision you have to make is whether that particular story is worth expanding. Some are, some aren't. Since you're "***" to all the people in the world you've created, only you can truly decide.
One of the things that sometimes works well is expanding on the back story. Sometimes, even though it's often considered "out of date," a prologue that tells the back story is an interesting way to expand a script.
If your story isn't a fast-and-furious-action movie, a visual metaphor can be an interesting way to open a film. A really good visual metaphor tells the story very succinctly and without words. Movie audiences aren't processing audio very weill during the first five or so minutes of a film, so a really good opening visual metaphor gives them clues on what the story will be about. An example of a great (but longer than usual) visual metaphor (though ti does involve some dialogue) is at the beginning of The Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy is running down the road looking back, looking forward, urging Toto to hurry too.

The road runs from hroizon to horizon with telephone poles lining it in both directions and a rail fence on the other side. You wonder if Dorothy is going to have to run clear to the horizon when suddenly there is a break in the fence, she turns into the yard and she's home. And that's the whole story of The Wizard of Oz. Running and running and suddenly and unexpectgedly, you're home. Not every story lends itself to a visual metaphor, but they can be very effective in story lines that do.
How much have you studied pacing? Sometimes the story length is there but the writer hasn't paid that much attention to pacing his script (as in one page of script per one minute of screen time), and often all that is needed is breaking up longer passages of narration (action) into shorter paragraphs that help meet the timing budget of page per minute.

The thing about pacing is the writer MUST show pacing in the script at the page per minute word budget. Which has nothing to do with what the final pacing may be when the film is shot. Any director half worth his salt can take one page of script and turn it into three seconds of screen time or ten minutes. But the screenwriter has to show the potential for story pacing as s/he sees it.
If you're fairly new to screenwriting, an error often made by less experienced writers is that they misinterpret the old dictum of if something isn't neccessary to the plot, drop it. New writers often think things like character exposition is unneccessary when indeed, it is what involves the audience with the character and makes them care more (or hate more). Having a character save a drowning puppy, or indeed throw it off a bridge, may not seem directly critical to the story line but it can be critical to manipulating the audience's feelings about the character.

Try putting your script away for a few days or even a few weeks. If you feel you have to write, write a short story or something, but the point is to clear your mind. Then read your script again with a critical (but not hostile) eye and see what you think the best solution will be. And don't close your mind to the possibility that you may have thrown away a few bits of gold in your editing.
Good luck!
Caroline

Usenet · Answer

[nq:2]Even for a theater movie instead of a TV movie? What's best for both, right now?[/nq]
[nq:1]I'd have to disagree here. I wouldn't submit a feature screenplay that's less than a hundred pages. I think that there's a certain prejudice against it. Even at 99 pages. I would find a way to space it out to a hundred.[/nq]
Take this advice over mine, I didn't even account for overage that gets cut back with editing.
[nq:1]What you really need is a major plot complication one that runs through out a significant portion of your ... those thirty pages, because the changes will also involve rewriting a significant amount of those pages that you've already polished.[/nq]
I never put my brain into second gear; what we're really talking about here isn't editing, it's making a new draft, which sounds about right now that I think about it.
pwt

Expanding a short screenplay

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