Evaluating Task 1 writing in Ielts test

Question

The table illustrates both the percentage in variation and the number of registered vehicles in 2010, 2012 and 2014 in Australia, which mainly focus on five types.

Overall, A number of vehicles keep increasing over three years with all positive percentage in change. Meanwhile, motorcycles show its significant rise among five types with the highest proportion.

People in Australia tend to use passenger vehicle the most with its stable position on top of five type, which started at nearly 12 million in 2010 and end up with 13 million in 2014. Commercial vehicles take the second place with more than 2 million registered in the first year of period and it also experienced a medium growth at 17,4% until 2014.

After 4 years, Australia witnessed a significant increase in the number of both motorcycles and light trucks, which are 30,8% and 23,5% respectively. Also noteworthy is the higher amount of motorcycles in Australia compared to light trucks, which is approximately 700 thousand means. Meanwhile the least number of registered vehicles belongs to light trucks with is only 131,000 in 2014, heavy trucks experienced the least variation with only 8.3% after 4 years.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Please attach an image of what you are writing about. We cannot help you if we can't see the figure.

Please put the essay instructions with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Put the essay instructions here.

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

Danh197 · Answer

Here is the topic, I remembered that I've uploaded already but few mistakes on my connection

AlpheccaStars · Answer

If you read my advice, you will understand why those words are marked as poor or wrong word usage. This applies to Task 1, not Task 2.

The table illustrates (poor word choice) both the percentage in variation (wrong expression) and the number of registered vehicles in 2010, 2012 and 2014 in Australia, which mainly focus on five types.

(What are these types of vehicles? You did not complete the description.)

Overall, A (wrong article, wrong capitalization) number of vehicles keep increasing over three years with all positive percentage in change. (Repetitious. Increasing is the same as positive percentages. Avoid this repetition.) Meanwhile, motorcycles show its significant rise among five types (You have not mentioned the five types. The reader is confused.) with the highest proportion. (Incorrect. Motorcycles do not have the highest numbers.)

People in Australia tend to use passenger vehicle (wrong form) the most with its stable (poor word choice) position on top of five type, which started at nearly 12 million in 2010 and end (wrong form. Use simple past tense consistently.) up with 13 million in 2014. Commercial vehicles take the second place with more than 2 million registered in 2010 ~~the first year of period~~ and it also experienced (Wrong word choice. Vehicles do not have experiences. Only people have experiences.) a ~~medium~~ growth at of 17,4% until 2014.

After 4 years, Australia witnessed (wrong word choice. People witness events. Numbers, countries and cars do not. ) a significant increase in the number of both motorcycles and light trucks, ~~which are~~ 30,8% and 23,5% respectively. Also noteworthy is the higher amount (wrong word choice - amount is for non-count items. Amount of money, amount of water, amount of food ) of motorcycles ~~in Australia~~ compared to light trucks, which is approximately 700 thousand means. (wrong word) Meanwhile the least number of registered vehicles belongs to light trucks with is only 131,000 in 2014, heavy trucks experienced (wrong word) the least variation with only 8.3% after 4 four years.

Evaluating Task 1 writing in Ielts test

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