Evaluating IELTS Writing Task 2

Essay topics: Every one should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a tendency in Europe and also on the world that people start shifting into vegetarian diet. First of all, people think that vegetarian diet can help them to attain better health's state and they want to protest about the lack of animal well-fare in farms. But I believe that a good diet is a diet which is balanced among groups of ingredients.
Vegetarian diet can bring you a lot of benefits. Because of low fat and cholesterol intake, vegetarians are not likely to meet some health problems like cadiovascular diseases. Secondly, vegetables and fruits contain tons of vitamins and good fibre which will promote people's digestive tract and health also. High water concentration in vegetables and fruits can help people's organs work smoother and help you to fight back the aging process. Thirdly, Animal intensive farming system dispose to the environment a big portion of waste everyday and intensive farm is good place for the development of new diseases, this bioharzard is also exaggerated by the imprudent use of antibiotics in treating animals. Contrary to animal farms, growing plants is a good way to coop with weather change, growing some special food plant can help to reform the fertility of soil and retain soil from the erosion process.
But vegetarian diet is not always an elixir for human. Some essential amino acids and vitamins doesnt exist in vegetarians diet, so vegetarians will definitely suffer from the lack of some nutrients, and they have to overcome this by taking supplement pills or functional foods. And when it comes to some activities which require greater strength and amount of energy, vegetarians will find it hard to keep up with people who have normal diet. In some rural area where food resources are limited, becoming a vegetarian is not a wise choice, because rural areas's people dont have a wide range of choices like those who live in the city, they have to eat whatever the nature or the market offer to them. And to retain most of nutrients in vegetarians food, cooking style play a significant role, it is advisable for vegetarian ingredients to be eaten raw, steamed or stir-fried rather than deep boiled or deep fried like the way European people always treat their food.
In conclusion, there are benefits and disadvantages of becoming a vegetarian. But when choosing a suitable diet, people should always look for advices from doctor and other people.

Can you help me to evaluate my essay. Many thanks!!!