Essex English pronunciation

0Here is a humorous compilation of expressions set in Essex pronunciation. ESL/EFL students-- the misspellings represent the native pronunciation; see if you can figure out the actual words meant: 02br
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00A -Z of Essex English: 02br
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00ASSA COMMONS - Our Parliament Building. 02br
00ART ATTACK - Extremely perturbed, as in "Don't tell Sharon, She'll have an 02br
00art attack." 02br
00ARST - Past tense of ask. "Jordan, I must've arst ya free fazzund times to 02br
00clear up yer room." 02br
00BANNSA - A person employed to deny access or eject troublemakers at a club. 02br
00"Dave's got izself a job as a bannsa." 02br
00BANTY - A chocolate and coconut snack bar. 02br
00BAVE - To wash oneself. 02br
00BOAF - The two. "Oi Dave, ooja fancy most, Sharon or Tracy?" "Boaf" is the 02br
00reply. 02br
00BRANSATCH - Motor racing circuit in Kent. 02br
00CANCEL - Administrative body of a town. "Darren, wive ad annuvva letter from 02br
00the cancel." 02br
00CANTAFIT - Fake, as in money. 02br
00CHOONA - An edible fish purchased in a tin and usually prepared with 02br
00mayonnaise. 02br
00CORT A PANDA - A big hamburger (smaller than an arf panda) 02br
00DAN TO URF - Sensible, practical. 02br
00DANNING STREET - Where the Prime Minister lives. 02br
00DANSTEZ - On the ground floor , where the biggest telly is. 02br
00DREKKUN - Do you consider? as in "Which dog drekkun'll win the next race?" 02br
00EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty." 02br
00EJOG - A small, spiky animal. 02br
00ERZ - Belonging to her. 02br
00EVVY - A big geezer who protects a smaller and more intelligent geezer, 02br
00usually for money. "My name's Frank and this is my evvy, Knuckles." 02br
00EYEBROW - Cultured, intellectual. 02br
00FANTIN - A jet of water for drinking or ornament. 02br
00FARVA - A posh way of saying Dad. 02br
00FATCHA - Margaret, British Prime Minister 1979 - 1990. 02br
00FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off wiv 02br
00fingy last night." 02br
00FONG - Skimpy undergarment. 02br
00FOR CRYIN AT LAAD - Mild expletive showing annoyance or surprise. E.G."For 02br
00cryin at lad, Britney, if I say yes will you give it a rest?" 02br
00GAWON - Go on. "Gawon Darren, eat ya granny's cabbage, it'll do yer good." 02br
00GIVE IT LARGE - To be thorough or enthusiastic. 02br
00GRAND - A football stadium. "It all wennoff atside the pub near the grand." 02br
00HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I. 02br
00IBEEFA - The Spanish holiday island. 02br
00IFFY - Dubious. "Ere, Trace, I fink this bread pudding you made last munf's 02br
00a bit iffy." 02br
00INT - Indirect suggestion. " I gave Darren a sort of int that it was time to 02br
00wash iz feet." 02br
00IPS - An unknown area of a woman's body to which chocolate travels. “That 02br
00Mars Bar will go straight to me ips." 02br
00JA - Do you, did you. "Ja like me new airdo, Sharon." 02br
00JACKS - Five Pound note. "Lend us a jacks, wilya?" 02br
00JAFTA - Is it really necessary? "Oi mate, jafta keep doing that?" 02br
00KAF - Eating house open during the day. 02br
00KAFFY - A girl's name. 02br
00LAD - Noisy. "Jordan, turn that music dan, it's too lad." 02br
00LARJ - Enjoying oneself. 02br
00LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal. 02br
00LOTREE - Costs £1 for a ticket. 02br
00MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park. 02br
00MAFFS - The study of numbers. 02br
00MANOR - Local area. 02br
00MINGER - An unattractive person (usually woman). 02br
00NARRA - Lacking breadth, with little margin. "Mum wannid to come rand but 02br
00changed er mind. That was a narra escape." 02br
00NARTAMEAN - Do you know what I mean? (sometimes used as janartamean). 02br
00NEEVA - Not one nor the other. 02br
00NES - National Elf Service. 02br
00OAF - A solemn declaration of truth or committment. 02br
00OLLADAY - Time taken away from home for rest and adventure. 02br
00ONNIST - Fair and just, without a lie. "I never did it, onnist." 02br
00OPPIT - Go away , as in "Oi you, oppit." 02br
00PADDA PUFF - Soft, lacking aggression. "They're alright up front but they 02br
00got a padda puff defence." 02br
00PACIFIC - Specific. 02br
00PAFFUL - Having much power or strength. 02br
00PAIPA - Sun, Mirror etc. 02br
00PANS AN ANNSIS - Imperial weight system. 02br
00PLAMMANS - A pub lunch usually made up of cheese and bread. 02br
00QUALIDEE - Good, as in "West 'Am's new striker's qualidee." 02br
00RAND - A number of drinks purchased for a group. 02br
00RANDEER - Locally. "There ain't much call for it randeer." 02br
00REBAND - Period of recovery after rejection by a lover. "I couldn't 'elp it. 02br
00I was on the reband from Craig." 02br
00ROOFLESS - Without compassion. 02br
00SAFF - A direction of the compass, opposite north. 02br
00SAFFEND - An Essex seaside town. 02br
00SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved. 02br
00SEEVIN - Very angry. "I woz seevin when I urd wot 'e sed." 02br
00TALENT - Attractive members of the opposite sex. "Dave's gan dan tan to eye 02br
00up the talent." 02br
00TAN *** - A modern terraced house. 02br
00TOP EVVY - A woman of plentiful bosom. "Ere look at that, Darren, she's well 02br
00top evvy." 02br
00UG - An unattractive person. "Sharon's new geezer's a bit of an ug." 02br
00UMP - Upset, as in Got the Ump. 02br
00VACHER - A document, which can be exchanged for goods or services. "I got a 02br
00vacher to get in cheap at Forp Park." 02br
00WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment." 02br
00WAWAZUT? - I beg your pardon. 02br
00WENNOFF - A fight commenced as in "It all wennoff". 02br
00YAFTA - You must : "Even if yer guilty, yafta av mitigating circumstances." 02br
00YOOF OSTALL - A place where holidaymakers can stay the night. 02br
00ZAGGERATE - To suggest something is better or bigger than is true. "Craig, I 02br
00must’ve told ya a fazzund times already." "Don't zaggerate, mum." 02br
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00Perhaps an Essex member of English Forums can give us an opinion on register, etc. 02br
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