Essay writing- please help me to check it, thanks!

Topic: Some people think it is more importanr for government spend public money on promoting healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

How to improve a healthcare system is a contentious matter nowadays. This is an argue that government should spend the health budget on prevention by healthy lifestyle promotion rather than spending on treatment. In my perspective, I totally agree with this opinion due to its long-term benefit.

Firstly, raising the awareness of human about healthy lifestyle can help them decrease significantly as being ill. For example, there are several diseases caused by negative influence of living condition such as hemorrhagic fever or influenza. Particularly, the main reason of hemorrhagic fever is that domestic sanitation does not meet standard and the habit of not using mosquitoes repellant. Also, the wariness is easier to spread out to others leading to the establishment of healthy habit. Actually, when one member in family has knowledge about illness prevention, he can stimulate others to live differently for health protection.

Secondly, promoting the prevention program is less costly than spending on cure technology. To be clearly, with the same amount of money, government can create the campaign or develop several programs to arouse residents about the importance of healthy lifestyle as well as guide them how to protect theirselves from sickness, instead of paying for new technology experimenting whether efficient or not. In other words, HIV aid is a century disease which has not the treatment till now, and the results of this is definitely serious that is influent on later generation. Hence, the only solution for this phenomenon is developing approach as avoiding disease transmitting.

In conclusion, although investing on illness treatment is also important as prevention, I prefer spending on deterrence because it is the way to increase the responsibility of government as well as individual in healthy public. Agree with this view does not mean that disagree with the spend on cure. With the specific illness that not be able to prevent or unpredictable, government should also place the budget on finding remedy.