essay writing

Hello teachers ;D
It's been a while!
I've wrote a comparative essay regarding two persuasive essays.
Hope you could correct any unnatural expressions in my essay so that I could improve my writing skills.
As always, thanks in advance.

Two writing samples above contrast each other greatly in content and language use according to students' linguistic abilities.
Considering the content, sample 1 takes rather emotional approach. For example, "And how much extra money could it cost to have some lettuce?" doesn't fit to an argumentative writing style. Also the next sentence "Is that a crazy thought or what" seems to fail to persuade readers to install a salad bar in the school cafeteria. Writing sample 2, on the other hand, presents the writer's assertion through logical statements. For instance, the writer supports his idea mentioning "a salad bar will likely reduce health care costs in our future" because students have healthier option if there installed a salad bar in school.
Linguistic usages of the two samples worth comparing, too. Sample 1 shows lack of grammatical competence here and there. In the second line, an apostrophe is omitted in "my dads". Also, the writer misspells "their" instead of there and this error is considered due to inattention to spelling. Language use in sample 2, on the other hand, is applausible in that the vocabularies used are various. Furthermore, phrasal verbs such as "spring up" or "come away" are well-employed. One prominent sentence is "Obesity is a growing epidemic in our nation" where the writer compares obesity to an epidemic. This writer is able to present his idea in a formal and logical way, hence is a better in English than the first writer.