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Anonymous Posted 11 years ago
Letter Writing

Essay of motivation

Hi guys, i am wrote an essay of motivation for my application for a bachelor programme at University College Utrecht. I would greatly appreciate an corrections.
The two main questions the university wanted me to answer are:
•On the basis of your academic strengths and interests, why do you want to study at a Liberal Arts and Sciences college?
•On the basis of your personal experiences and ambitions, why do you want to be a student at a residential college?

My essay is as follows:

UNIVERSITY COLLEGE UTRECHT
Faculty: Biology, Cognitive Neuroscience, Medical Science, Philosophy and Psychology.
Dear Madam/Sir:

My name is Sara **** and I want to apply for the University of Utrecht’s bachelor degree in Sciences and Social Sciences. My subject choice in these areas of specialisation will allow me to pursue my interest in neurological psychology. The University College of Utrecht offers the individual subjects needed to specialize in neurological psychology. I believe that learning more than one subject at a time will result in maximum learning ability given to a student, as it does not allow a student to adapt to a specific mind set. It also enables students to recognise their skills and passion on a deeper basis, rather than choosing a single specialisation based on the little exposure to subjects the students had in high school. For these reasons I am so fond of the education system offered at University College Utrecht.

I am currently living in Harare, Zimbabwe, where I am completing my high school education. In 2011 I started working part time at the German School Society, where I would teach children aged five to eight years old. In 2014 I received my Cambridge International IGCSE qualification in ten subjects (including English as a first language). In 2015 I received my Cambridge International AS level qualification, specialising in Mathematics, Geography and Biology. Upon completion of secondary school, I will receive my Cambridge International A Level qualification, specialising in Mathematics, Biology, Geography and German (as a second language). In secondary school I took part in several co-curricular activities which include sports, mentoring other students, as well as teaching other students.

I am very grateful the experience I gained during teaching, as it made me realise how much I enjoy working with other people. Being a student at a residential college would be a great experience not only socially, but also academically as I will be gaining more knowledge and experience from other scholars.

Especially whilst teaching children, I developed an interest in the psychology behind their actions. This does not only include behavioural psychology, but the neurological background of these emotions and actions. I started reading several books on different aspects of psychology only to find myself getting more interested in the subject. It seems that more and more people suffer from psychological illnesses rather than pathological illnesses. I have developed a passion in trying to help people that suffer from psychological illnesses and I am eager to increase my skills and knowledge in the field of study.

In conclusion: I believe University College of Utrecht is a place where I can maximise my learning ability in order to help the public as much as I am capable of. I would be very honoured to be a student at University College Utrecht and I thank you for considering my application.
Kind regards,
Sara ****
  

Top answer

My name is Sara **** and I want (too abrupt, use "would like") to apply for the University of Utrecht’s bachelor 's degree in Sciences and Social Sciences. My subject choice in these areas of specialisation will allow me to pursue my interest in neurological psychology. The University College of Utrecht offers the individual subjects needed to specialize in neurological psychology.

  • My name is Sara **** and I want (too abrupt, use "would like") to apply for the University of Utrecht’s bachelor 's degree in Sciences and Social Sciences.
  • My subject choice in these areas of specialisation will allow me to pursue my interest in neurological psychology.
  • The University College of Utrecht offers the individual subjects needed to specialize in neurological psychology.
  • ) to a specific mind set.
  • It also enables students to recognise their skills and passion on a deeper basis, rather than choosing a single specialisation based on the little exposure to subjects the students had in high school.
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1 Answers
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My name is Sara **** and I want (too abrupt, use "would like") to apply for the University of Utrecht’s bachelor's degree in Sciences and Social Sciences. My subject choice in these areas of specialisation will allow me to pursue my interest in neurological psychology. The University College of Utrecht offers the individual subjects needed to specialize in neurological psycho

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