Essay: knowledge gained from books with knowledge gained from experience.

Question

Hi, everyone! I would very appreciate any feedback about my essay. Thank you for reading!

"Knowledge is power" - this phrase has become a commonplace ages ago. Everyone knows the power of learning and what benefits knowledge has brought to our life: starting from medicine which helps us to live longer and healthier life and ending with engineering which allows us to enjoy the conveniences of inventions such as the car and electricity. However, the question is any piece of knowledge as valuable as others. In particular, can we weight knowledge acquired from books against knowledge obtained from personal experience?

Mostly when we mention the process of learning we mean learning with the help of books. The stereotypical image of smart alec buried in the stows of books, who continue to read even while eating or walking, is one piece of evidence which demonstrates how tightly knowledge and books are bounded, if not in reality, then at least in our imagination. Indeed, books allow one to acquire knowledge which otherwise would be unavailable. For example, one can never leave his or her own native town and yet travel around the globe with the power of imagination and help of books. Moreover, basically, books are condensed experience of thousands and thousands of scholars that have been acquired for centuries if not thousands of years. The power of books can help one to study the past of humanity as well as explore predictions about our future. The invention of typography can be the second most significant invention in the whole history of humanity after the invention of the wheel. Therefore, the significance of knowledge acquired by the books is undeniable.

On the other hand, no matter how vividly and clearly the author describes his or her opinion in the book, it still is the experience of the author, but not the reader. There are some lessons which can be learned only by practical experiences, such as deep and meaningful understanding of such phenomena as friendship or love.

From my point of view, knowledge gained from books and knowledge gained from experience are supposed not to contradict and refute each other but complement and enhance.

Clive · Accepted Answer

Here are some comments on your structure. I believe that in IELTS, good structure can account for up to 25% of your score.

Your title does not make sense, because it says nothing about comparing. Just careless typing?

In your introduction paragraph, you need to state your position, by formulating a thesis statement.

Your second body paragraph is much too short, particularly in a 'comparison' essay where you later conclude that both aspects are important.

Your concluding paragraph is weak. Terms like 'from my point of view' and 'supposed to' are weak. Be more forceful. The paragraph is also too short. As a rule of thumb, the conclusion should be roughly as long as your introduction.

_____________

I just have time for a very quick glance at your English. Yellow highlighting shows places you need to correct. Suggestions are in bold. I haven't noted every error, just some.

Overall, your writing is good.

"Knowledge is power" - this phrase has become became a commonplace ages ago. Everyone knows the power of learning and what benefits knowledge has brought to our life: starting from medicine which helps us to live longer and healthier life lives and ending with engineering which allows us to enjoy the conveniences of inventions such as the car and electricity. However, the question is any piece of knowledge as valuable as others. In particular, can we weight knowledge acquired from books against knowledge obtained from personal experience?

Mostly when we mention the process of learning we mean learning with the help of books. The stereotypical image of a smart alec <<< avoid slang in an essay buried in the stows of books, who continues to read even while eating or walking, is one piece of evidence which demonstrates how tightly knowledge and books are bounded, if not in reality, then at least in our imagination. Indeed, books allow one to acquire knowledge which otherwise would be unavailable. For example, one can never leave his or her own native town and yet travel around the globe with the power of imagination and help of books. Moreover, basically, books are the condensed experience of thousands and thousands of scholars that have been acquired for centuries if not thousands of years. The power of books can help one to study the past of humanity as well as explore predictions about our future. The invention of typography can be the second most significant invention in the whole history of humanity after the invention of the wheel. Therefore, the significance of knowledge acquired by the books is undeniable.

On the other hand, no matter how vividly and clearly the author describes his or her opinion in a the book, it still is the experience of the author, but not the reader. There are some lessons which can be learned only by practical experiences, such as deep and meaningful understanding of such phenomena as friendship or love.

From my point of view, knowledge gained from books and knowledge gained from experience are supposed not to contradict and refute each other but complement and enhance.

Essay: knowledge gained from books with knowledge gained from experience.

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