Essay: It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Agree or disagree.

Question

Hi everyone, Please help me with the following essay.

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ?
It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.

Essay:

Friends are the most important part of your life and most precious gift of god. We spend most of our time with our friends.Friendship is one relation on earth, which you choose by yourself as compared to other relations(like parents, siblings, etc) which are given to you by god. It has also been scientifically proven that, if you are friends with someone for more than 6 years, you are friends for life.I strongly believe that it's important to keep old friends as compared to making new friends for following reasons.

First of all, trust between two people is build over a period of time and therefore trust between two old friends is more strong as compared to new friends. So, it's easy to share your feelings and problems to a person whom you trust more. For example, in my case whenever I am despondent and unhappy, I share my problems with my old friend because I know she understand me and she can give me right advise to come out of that situation.I trust her and know that she will never tell my personal things to someone else. But it's difficult to open up on your problems and personal matters with a new friend.

In addition to that, old friends know your strengths and weaknesses very well. They can always guide you in right direction.They understand how and in which situation you can perform better, things you are more comfortable with. While on other hand, it takes time to know likes and dislikes in a newly develop friendship.For instance, When I was on deciding mode of my career, I was not sure which stream should I choose. That time quite a old friend of mine suggested that you should go for engineering as you have good acumen and strong problem solving skills. I followed her advice, and now I am an engineer. I always thank that friend to show me the right direction.

In conclusion, an old friend is definitely more important in life than a new friend. As the old adage "old is gold", we should also cherish our old friends.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

I have highlighted some areas that need attention.

Friends are the most important part of your life and the most precious gift of ***. We spend most of our time with our friends.Friendship is one relation on earth, (no comma) which you choose by yourself as compared to other relations(like parents, siblings, etc) which are given to you by ***. It has also been scientifically proven (can you give any references?) that, (no comma) if you are friends with someone for more than 6 years, you are friends for life.I strongly believe that it's important to keep old friends as compared to making new friends for following reasons.

First of all, trust between two people is build over a period of time and therefore trust between two old friends is more strong as compared to new friends. So, it's easy to share your feelings and problems with a person whom you trust more. For example, in my case whenever I am despondent and unhappy, I share my problems with my old friend because I know she understand me and she can give me the right advise to come out of that situation.I trust her and know that she will never tell my personal things to someone else. But it's difficult to open up on and discuss your problems and personal matters with a new friend.

In addition to that, old friends know your strengths and weaknesses very well. They can always guide you in the right direction.They understand how and in which situation you can perform better, and things you are more comfortable with. While on other hand, it takes time to know the likes and dislikes in a newly develop friendship.For instance, When I was on deciding ~~mode of~~ my career, I was not sure which stream should I choose. That time quite a old friend of mine suggested that you should go for engineering as you have good acumen and strong problem solving skills. I followed her advice, and now I am an engineer. I always thank that friend to show me the right direction.

In conclusion, an old friend is definitely more important in life than a new friend. As the old adage "old is gold", we should also cherish our old friends.

RachelG · Answer

Hi
Thanks for your suggestions. As you suggested, I have modified the essay. Also added one more paragraph. Please check and tell me how to write it in a better way.

Friends are the most important part of your life and most precious gift of ***. We make friends at every stage of life. We spend most of our time with our friends. Friendship is one relation on Earth, which you choose by yourself as compared to other relations like parents, siblings, etc which are given to you by ***. Some people say that it is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends and I completely agree with that for following reasons.
First, trust between two people is build over a period of time and therefore trust between two old friends is more strong as compared to new friends. So it's easy to share your feelings and problems to a person whom you trust more. For example, in my case whenever I am despondent and unhappy, I share my problems with my old friend because I know she understands me and can give me right advice to come out of that situation. I trust her and know that she will never tell my personal things to someone else. But it's difficult to open up to discuss your problems and personal matters with a new friend.
In addition to that, old friends know your strengths and weaknesses very well. They can always guide you in right direction. They understand how and in which situation you can perform better, things you are more comfortable with. While on other hand, it takes time to know likes and dislikes in a newly developed friendship. For instance, When I was on deciding mode of my career, I was not sure which stream should I choose. That time quite a old friend of mine suggested that you should go for engineering as you have good acumen and strong problem solving skills. I followed her advice, and now I am an engineer. I always thank that friend to show me the right direction at right time.
Despite these advantages, new friends could lend some perspective, especially if you meet them at a critical time in your life, right when you need some help. For example, when I moved to Unites States, everyday after my husband goes to work, it was hard to kill alone time at home so I had made some new firends, so that there is someone to talk and to go out.

In closing, I believe that an old friend is definitely more important in life than a new friend. It has also been scientifically proven in a research that if you are friends with someone for more than 6 years, you are friends for life. As the old adage "old is gold", we should also cherish our old friends.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

The yellow highlighted areas have errors. I marked some of them before, and you did not make any changes.

Friends are the most important part of your life and most precious gift of ***. We make friends at every stage of life. We spend most of our time with our friends. Friendship is ~~one relation on Earth, which you choose by yourself~~ different compared to family, because you choose your own friends. ~~other relations~~ Your family members, like parents, siblings, etc., ~~which~~ are given to you by ***. Some people say that it is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends and I completely agree with that for following reasons.

First, trust between two people is build over a period of time and therefore trust between two old friends is more strong as compared to new friends. So it's easy to share your feelings and problems to a person whom you trust more. For example, in my case whenever I am despondent and unhappy, I share my problems with my old friend because I know she understands me and can give me the right advice to come out of that situation. I trust her and know that she will never tell my personal thoughts and ideas ~~things~~ to someone else. But it's difficult to open up to discuss your problems and personal matters with a new friend.

In addition to that, old friends know your strengths and weaknesses very well. They can always guide you in the right direction. They understand how and in which situation you can perform better, and things you are more comfortable with. While on other hand, it takes time to know the likes and dislikes in a newly developed friendship. For instance, When I was on deciding ~~mode of~~ my career, I was not sure which stream should I choose. That time quite a old friend of mine suggested that you should go for engineering as you have good acumen and strong problem solving skills. I followed her advice, and now I am an engineer. I always thank that friend to show me the right direction at the right time.
Despite these advantages, new friends could lend some perspective, especially if you meet them at a critical time in your life, right when you need some help. For example, when I moved to Unites States, everyday after my husband goes to work, it was hard to kill alone time at home so I had made some new firends, so that there is someone to talk and to go out with.

In closing, I believe that an old friend is definitely more important in life than a new friend. It has also been scientifically proven in a research that if you are friends with someone for more than 6 years, you are friends for life. As the old adage "old is gold", we should also cherish our old friends.

RachelG · Answer

Thanks for your suggestions. Could you please help me in re-phrasing the following sentence.

For instance, when I was deciding my career, I was not sure which stream should I choose. That time quite a old friend of mine suggested that you should go for engineering as you have good acumen and strong problem solving skills.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

For instance, when I was deciding my career, I was not sure which stream I should choose. That time quite an old friend of mine suggested that I should go for engineering as I have good acumen and strong problem-solving skills.

That time quite an old friend of mine suggested, "You should go for engineering. You have good acumen and strong problem-solving skills."

RachelG · Answer

Thanks <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/1.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/1.gif' alt='Emotion: smile'/>

Essay: It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. Agree or disagree.

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