essay, introduction

hi. I’ve got an assignment to just write the introduction of an essay. first off, what do you think of the topic and my approach to it.. and what about the layout? and how is my language?

text is as following:

The scientific language

The complex and formal language used in the scientific community serves a purpose, by having a universal and unified standard it connects scientist from all over the world, although it is in some way working against some of it purpose.
By using an immoderate amount of lexical words and a multitude of foreign words it is also excluding people who prefer layman term, more importantly it loses its appeal to the general public. Therefore
the use of more basic speech in the studies, reports and the findings will make the knowledge reach a broader audience

im trying in the first line to connect the topic to the introduction, and our teacher is very fond off using lexical and other big words.. kind of why I choose that topic.. at the end im trying to clarify my thesis that im going to use the mid part of the essay to reinforce “the use of more basic speech in the studies, reports and the findings will make the knowledge reach a broader audience“